The truth about permanent weight loss with Dr Katrina Ubell MD

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the podcast. today. I have an extra special guest.

 

It's the amazing Dr. Katrina Ubell she is one of the first coaches that I used to listen to her podcast.

 

And I used to think, Oh, my gosh maybe this is possible for me too.

 

So I'm so happy to have her on the podcast today. I'm just gonna allow her to introduce herself.

 

Welcome to Katrina. thank you so much i'm so glad to be here, and yes, like you, said I'm Katrina Ubell, and I am, you know, paediatrician who practiced for over 10 years.

 

who really struggled with her weight. It really became an issue.

 

Starting in medical school like really started to become an issue, and I gained in, lost and gained, and lost, and gained and lost at least 10 times, you know, about 40 pounds or so, and as I was approaching about 40 years old I started thinking this: What am I doing? What is going on I'm an expert in the human body, and this seems so complicated.

 

It just doesn't make sense I cannot keep doing the same thing again and again.

 

I had my last baby lost that baby weight swore to myself I wouldn't gain it back promptly gained it back.

 

But what am I gonna do? So I really went on a journey to try to solve my own problem.

 

In doing that I found life coaching which changed my whole life, helped me to understand why I struggled with food.

 

In the first place, help me to just work through that in such an impactful way, and I really never thought about having a business.

 

I just thought you know there might be some other women positions out there as well, who struggle in the same way, because, of course, we all think that we're the only one who struggles the way.

 

We do you know what I mean it's like so shame-filled and like no one could know, even though, of course people can see it on your body.

 

And so I thought, you know maybe i'll offer my services to a few people, and that was about I think, almost 7 years ago.

 

And yeah, it turned into a whole business. So now what I do is help women physicians who are practicing in clinical medicine to and and sorry in physician. So in the US physician, means like any medical doctor. Yeah, and so I help them with weight loss.

 

But, as you know, and as your listeners hopefully know, you know, I, I always say about 20% of what we do is actually about food.

 

And 80% is about all of the other things. All reasons why we use food to feel better in the first place, and for some people alcohol as well, because it can be really similar.

 

So that's what I do Yeah.

 

I mean it's such an honor to have you here. I remember when I first started listening to your podcast several years ago, it felt so new and so fresh, and it still is not in like it's not widespread in the community.

 

Right, and especially among the medical professionals because what I find is that when people come to medical professionals, they expect us to know exactly what's going on with the way, and like how to lose the weight and so I felt so much

 

shame as a as a medical doctor being overweight myself.

 

When people were asking me how to lose the weight. So what I wanted to ask you was like was coaching different for you.

 

And what was your experience of the difference between what we get taught in medical school, and what we get to talk in coaching and things like that?

 

Yes. well, what I can speak to is my own medical school experience, but I think this is similar.

 

Across the board in the us and I don't think it's really that different.

 

In other parts of the world as well. I. W. My recollection is, we had about 3 h of nutrition.

 

Teaching on a Friday afternoon. You know what I mean.

 

Like like. It was very sparse in the lecture hall, you know, and what we were learning about were the really unusual and rare vitamin deficiencies.

 

You know things that that you're really probably never going to see, unless you're traveling the the far reaches of of the of the earth practicing medicine, and so I don't recall there really being any education

 

on on, you know, real like weight, management, or maintenance, and granted.

 

I went to medical school. This was you know the end of the nineties, and into the early 2,000, and so a lot has changed since then.

 

You know it's very much just the general you know kind of understanding of everybody.

 

Doctors, as well as the general public, was that it was calories and calories out.

 

You just need to eat less and move more and things like that, and I never personally rotated through a way loss clinic or anything during my training.

 

But my husband did, who is also a doctor, and his Recollection was going in and seeing a patient who was struggling through weight, was working with this weight Loss specialist, and she came in with her food journal, and said, These are all the things that

 

i'm meeting, and she wasn't losing weight and so they had the patient interaction with the attending with the the doctor, and then they left, and the doctor said to my husband, who was a student.

 

She must be lying there's no way. that She is eating what she says, and not losing weight.

 

You know like It's like blame the patient like we know what you should do, and if that's not working for you, it's your fault.

 

It's not that maybe this way doesn't work for you or for anyone.

 

Possibly it's that you're doing it wrong which you know is, I think, so many people who struggle with their weight will resonate with that right feeling like I can't possibly be trusted to know what is right for my

 

body. But then, when I follow someone else's plan and it doesn't work, that just further means that something's deficient with me. something's wrong with me, I must be weak I must be lazy.

 

I, you know, must not be intelligent enough, whatever we think.

 

It is so. I think that what has happened is there's just a lot more information about nutrition.

 

But at the same time the whole the whole field has gotten very noisy right.

 

There's so many more different ways of eating, you know whether it's plant-based, or keto, or you know all the things right.

 

I mean the so many different ways of eating which I think confuses people even more into thinking that it's so much about the food, and what you're eating and less.

 

About what problem is who's solving for you like why are you eating that?

 

In the first place, like nobody's really asking that and if you think about it.

 

There's no money in that. you know in in terms of like no, no pharmaceutical company is gonna run any studies on that or anything like that.

 

So I think what has happened for doctors is they're in a bit of a conundrum, I think if they have never personally startled with their weight very much or at all.

 

They don't know what to offer because they haven't really had to try things themselves, and also many of them will say things like well, you just need to exercise like they It's very well, meaning but they just don't understand yes, we

 

have tried that it did not work you know I think there's that issue.

 

But then also the people who have struggled with their weight also know, like I can recommend you all these things.

 

It didn't work for people and then, they feel so much you know shame, and I feel like a hypocrite, because they're saying, Yeah, go ahead and try this plan or that plan knowing full Well, it didn't work.

 

For them, so I think doctors are just stretched to the brink right now.

 

They cannot. How can you possibly keep up with all the things you're supposed to keep up on?

 

And typically this is not going to be a subject. that is going to be at the forefront of their mind.

 

Right. They're going to be worrying about more immediate issues.

 

So I think that doctors are very well meaning they are not given the the education or the support that's needed, and that's actually one of the reasons why I wrote my book how to lose weight for the last time was to help them to

 

help their patients right. You don't have to be the expert.

 

Just give them this book and see Ask them to see if any of it resonates, and then they can go on their own path. Hmm!

 

I think that's so important to know because I think everyone expects the doctors to know everything it's kind of like they've ever knowing they're the experts at this and So when we don't know the ins and outs until

 

we learn the tools it's like really disempowering and we feel like a fraud right when we don't actually know how to recommend the things that are gonna actually work, which is why I feel so fun to be a

 

doctor, and to be a coach, because when you can combine the 2 together.

 

Then it's like, Wow! this is so powerful this is literally gonna change the world like I said, the thought like you know, I went into medicine to actually help people.

 

But this is how i'm actually how you actually are right exactly.

 

I. I think that the the medical training gives helps you to understand physiology.

 

Those of humans right but what it cannot tell us is what it feels like to be in somebody else's body right like I can't possibly know when somebody else is experiencing physical hunger or you know they're

 

they're feeling satiety or whether you know this food makes them feel energetic, and you know they have good digestion with it or not.

 

Right so sometimes, and and you know through no fault of our own. That's the part of the culture. We as doctors often think like we know all we know better than them right.

 

They should just listen to us. you know we don't really know, and it needs to be collaborative effort.

 

And I think the other thing that that a lot of people just in general doctors and the the public really get confused about is the means to an end type of behavior.

 

So. Yes, you can follow a Keto diet, and you will probably lose a bunch of weight.

 

But are you excited about eating that way for the rest of your entire life?

 

If the answer is no, then what are we doing then it's no different than one. I.

 

We call it weight watchers. I think, in the Uk.

 

They have different names, for you know, you know I would do that and follow that plan. Get the weight off, and you know. Tell myself that I would.

 

I don't know Do better like I don't know what I thought I was gonna do, and then of course i'd be in the way back again.

 

I didn't want to eat that way forever that go on this diet to lose the weight, and then i'll have permission to go and eat the way that I want to eat instead of creating a plan for yourself that

 

you're going to be able to stick to you for the rest of your life and lose weight, because when you learn how to, instead of paying attention to external signals, paying attention to the internal signals like your hunger your

 

emotions, and actually like feeling them instead of using food to make it better.

 

It that changes everything right, because then there's nothing external that can tell you how much food to eat or when to eat, or anything like that.

 

That's very different to what like society is telling us society is like saying you must weigh your food.

 

Count these Macros count these calories, and only then you are going to be able to.

 

You know, eat right for your body. And this is why it feels so radical to so many people, because they think, wait what I get to decide.

 

It feels quite scary, and so they feel a bit like Oh, this feels a bit uncomfortable.

 

Which brings me onto my second second point about kind of paying attention to our body signals.

 

Awesome that's so much of what we do right in life coaching where we learn how to process our emotions, pay attention to our hunger signals.

 

And so I wanted to ask for your input on what it's been like for you.

 

Especially with professional people, because in my experience it's been that people tend to be on board with the coaching side of things.

 

The cognitive side of things. but when it comes to dropping into the body, paying attention to what the body signals, they often think of that as quite fluffy and quite like, Oh, bit woo!

 

Maybe, and they think 9 I don't know if i'm in for that.

 

So I wanted your your opinion on that. Yeah, I mean the thing that I think about that is, I used to be one of them

 

Remember that I mean my background. India. Everybody comes from from, you know.

 

Different families of origin in my background. My parents are immigrants from Germany, and you know the Germans are not known for being an emotional people, you know.

 

So if there are no faults, of their own it's just you know you keep everything very buttoned up and you don't talk about emotions, and that's like a waste of time and a waste of energy.

 

And why would we even spend any time there, just like, you know?

 

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep on moving, and there are some that can be a great skill.

 

Right it's not like that's a problem or bad but what I didn't learn was how to feel anything really properly.

 

And so my emotional eating meeting, asking food to solve for my emotions.

 

Right eating, not for physical hunger, but because I was experiencing an uncomfortable emotion, and food would numb me out or make me feel better.

 

I started doing that even as a child not knowing what I was doing.

 

I mean it's an adaptive process right like you just figure out Oh, when I eat the sugar, I actually feel better.

 

I don't feel you know as upset or scared or whatever it is.

 

So I already had that little bit of knowledge going for me and and that pattern, persisted and you know when we're younger we're often able to manage it through exercise, or you know we're just busy, or whatever but

 

eventually it often catches up with us. So then I go into You know my undergraduate degree is in engineering you know.

 

Anything has nothing to do with like any kind of emotional connection.

 

And then going into medical school, where it's actually prized right like, if you can keep it all together.

 

You're being very professional and I think also for us as women sometimes especially depending on the field that we're working in like we really are working with a bunch of men.

 

And we want to assimilate. We want to not be seen as different or other.

 

We want to be. it is seen just like them well so then there's even more shutting down of our emotions.

 

And so we get to where we are going and we're like, I mean, I hear what you're saying about emotions, but like I literally don't know how to do that you you know and and So that's where

 

I found myself really needing to completely just educate myself on how to do this.

 

So it wasn't easy the thought working easier to me finding out what I what I was thinking. I I mean this is the truth.

 

I literally had to hire a therapist to teach me how to cry, because it was like I could feel that it it was there.

 

But I like couldn't get it out that would happen quite frequently.

 

And so I really had to learn how to create safety for myself.

 

While experiencing emotions. I think it just felt so unsafe.

 

And I just want to speak to that. because so often we think Oh, we're just doing it wrong, or maybe it can't do this emotional thing, this emotional work.

 

But I just want to encourage anyone listening who's struggling in that way to just keep going, and just to keep learning and understanding that it's a bit of a circuitous path for many of us.

 

But we eventually end up, you know further along at least I mean i'm still learning more about how to do this, And so really the the the difference is, since our thoughts create our emotions. right.

 

That's that's all fine and good when we're aware of what the thoughts are when they're conscious. you know it's a conscious thought, and sometimes we have subconscious thoughts or beliefs that we can bring into

 

our consciousness and work on them and change that, I think.

 

What may, what some setup best for me is there are times when i'm experiencing an emotional experience in my body, and I am asking myself, well, what am I thinking that's creating that and it doesn't really matter what I think I

 

can choose new thoughts. I can you know tell myself. all the reasons why I don't need to part of, and the experience of my body doesn't change right?

 

So then we know there's something under like an undercurrent that's that subconscious you know.

 

Just kind of taking charge. So in an example, we kind of touched on it before we start recording was as my book was coming out.

 

I had a several week period where I just felt extremely scared, like really terror. And I knew I was feeling this because of what was going on in my body.

 

I mean literally. my heart rate was elevated. I felt so much tension in my body.

 

I felt like like wide-eyed at times, like really like.

 

At any moment. I can sprint out of here to save my life, you know.

 

But of course, cognitively, i'm like you have a book coming out like It's gonna be okay like I had to remind myself.

 

I was out you know, somewhere, and it was some busy street, and there were cars driving, and I was like Katrina.

 

All of these people, like the vast majority of them, will never, ever know.

 

Where you are or this book, you know, like calm down.

 

But really what helped me to work through this, because, changing my thoughts, trying to tell myself I would say, was not working.

 

It was not changing my my physical experience. It was somatic work.

 

Or specifically doing eft or tapping emotional freedom technique to help me to actually release that like to allow myself to.

 

You know, understand what that terror was about, and to allow it to go away, to stop trying to talk myself out of it, and instead go to it.

 

And then I was able to see, cause I had this image in my mind, too, of like an angry mob, like what I was so afraid of as I was sharing with you was was just tons of criticism.

 

You know just I mean, you know I we can't help it so many of us are people pleasers that hard right like we just you know here's this thing that I just work 3 years.

 

On like. Do you like it? you know it's kind of like very child, like kind of a of a way of approaching it?

 

And then thinking like movie, the beauty and the beast when there's like the angry mob coming with like the blaming torches.

 

And they want to come and kill the beast like that was What it felt like was coming after me and and so being able to understand like there's a very small part of me like young version of me who's afraid that she's

 

not gonna be okay. she's, not gonna be safe and That's where this is coming from, like that comes from that understanding comes from doing that somatic work.

 

And after that it really was God, and I knew it because of how I felt my body.

 

So what we have to do is learn to repopulate our bodies.

 

We often just sort of decapitate ourselves symbolically we live up in our heads.

 

We're prized for our knowledge our intelligence our problem solving skills, you know, and all of that like that's all great.

 

And then we are literally taught to not pay attention to our body signals doesn't matter if you're hungry or thirsty, or you need it, you know.

 

Go to the bathroom or go to sleep doesn't matter just ignore what's going on in your body.

 

Well, now, we're being invited to reconnect what does my body actually have to say about what's going on.

 

There's a lot to be learned there not only just with food and and digestion. And what does your body need from an nutritional standpoint, but also what does it need from an emotional standpoint?

 

How can you actually support it? when you know this You're not just like Well, what else can I eat to try to like?

 

What's going on for me, and how can I actually meet that need, instead of trying to.

 

Just, you know, drown it out with food or alcohol.

 

Yeah, I noticed that for me I had to do a very similar work like initially.

 

When I got into coaching it was all like Oh, my gosh!

 

My thoughts great my feelings. This is so amazing because I was a very like cognitive person.

 

I was very much in my brain, and you know being doctors. Were like praised on that, like It's kinda like you have to, you know.

 

Be very like in your brain to actually succeed at this. So that was priced.

 

So then, when it came to body work I was like I don't know if i'm into that, and then it came to a point where, as you said, the thoughts were like I was trying to change my thoughts and it still wasn't

 

changing the emotional experience in my body and I I realized that for me What I had to do was like firstly.

 

We're we're trained to be people pleases, in in our profession as women, but also in our profession.

 

And so it's kind of like you want to you're trained You have to put others before yourself. so actually to learn how to like. Do like pay attention to you often my excuses where I don't have enough time for

 

this this is to like, you know. I have to do things for others. I don't have time, and so then what I had to go and do is like I felt like some intense terror like during my last lodge, for example, and it was like

 

hey? I mean like you've got some amazing clients nothing that's gone wrong. You've got roof over your head, but I would feel this huge terror in my in my throat and it would literally would not go away.

 

And I had to do some reparanting work where I had to go and visit that small am route, and actually tell her that she was safe and kind of like, really listened to her fears and and tell her that you know i'm there.

 

for her, and things like that. and what I would have thought about that 3 years ago, you're okay to your in a child.

 

But it changed everything for me, because now that terror still comes up for me.

 

But now I know like exactly how to talk to it, and how to kind of be with it, rather than push it away with food.

 

And to you know, like losing 42 kilos is like like wait.

 

What sort of I think. Wait. How did you do that? And it was literally just being with that being, with that physical sensation in my body.

 

And being like, Okay, this is safe to do this, even if it feels really uncomfortable and just creating that safety and constantly doing that is literally everything right, really I mean it really really is and I think I I I have to.

 

Believe that, you know. many years ago, you know, centuries ago, this type of knowledge and connection was passed down from woman to woman, You know, through families like we.

 

This is our superpower, you know, like like we really have this connection through our emotions to the world and to ourselves. That, you know, we can arguably say is different than what men experience and what we for all the reasons right have

 

sort of trying to do is try to be more like men and then doing so.

 

We've abandoned really who we are as women, and I know that sounds like so floppy or whatever. but but it really is the truth.

 

I mean I had a very long standing story that I told myself that when people would say, Just follow your gut, or you know, what does your intuition tell you?

 

Come on. I really thought that I couldn't trust my God I had a very strong story about you know a time when I you know felt like everything was fine.

 

And then very much wasn't and and so I really had to find my way back to that.

 

And now I use that all the time in my business. like the number of times when I've gone against that you know my feeling was, you know I don't think this is a good idea, and then I talk myself into it and did it anyway, and

 

then regretted it right now I really tried to connect with that like.

 

Does this feel like an alignment I don't have to know why, if it's a no it's a no, I don't have to manufacture you know an excuse or a reason if I don't

 

know what it is it's just it's a no you know, or it's a yes, like feeling very drawn to this.

 

This may not make sense, but I really feel like this is the thing, and so especially for those of us who are so cognitive, who really like to think things out.

 

You know, that can be very confusing, to us you know It'd be like No, but I I and the way I make decisions is by thinking, you know.

 

And so I think, and you know not to say that that's necessarily better, or or anything.

 

It's just it's available and it's pretty cool to play around with.

 

I just certainly send I feel like you know i'm just sort of educated myself and what's possible for me as a woman as a human.

 

And that's just it's great to be able to offer that I remember earlier on in my business. I did a call with a woman, and she's like you know, i'm just very very intuitive i'm gonna have to spend some time

 

on this, and I literally was like, What is she talking about?

 

So confused by that, and now i'm just in awe.

 

I just think that I think it's so funny because before we used to be like very much in our brains, and trust the the wisdom of our brains.

 

And now learning how to trust the wisdom of our bodies, has changed everything.

 

And then when you can combine the 2 together that's where the magic happens, because you can like the bits of you know your brain wisdom, and then your body wisdom and like as you said, when you're in alignment.

 

that feels like so easy and free and that's what our women are after right?

 

They they're using like food to like try and feel more in control to try and like, you know, like be able to live the lives that they want to live. But actually what they really want is that freedom that, like you know, being in controlled even without that

 

so it kind of brings them back to that right? So that is everything, and something else that you you talked about as well that I wanted to touch on was like food being used as a reward.

 

So I think you talked about like you know for so long we've been it's we've been socialized to like use food to make ourselves feel better to push away a negative emotion and that's just so common isn't it it's kind of

 

like Oh, there's something that's come up let's go out and celebrate, or you know, or even as children.

 

It's very much like Oh, you're having a negative emotion.

 

You shouldn't be feeling this way here have some food especially like I know you said it in the in the German culture.

 

It was like that in the Indian culture. it's very much like that, too, like once.

 

I was on the phone, too. like I don't know Something happened with my phone contract, and I must have been crying, and there was an Indian man on the phone and he's like Please don't cry this is making

 

me so upset that you're crying and I was like wait like this is really straight.

 

It just made me realize that, like even in like different cultures it's very much like crying is wrong.

 

You shouldn't cry you shouldn't be feeling anything negative, and if you are here, let me make it better for you, and the way to make it better is food or alcohol or like buying something which is why when we like you

 

know, Buffer, or when we use other things to you know and create our emotions and push away negative emotions.

 

Then that's what we're going to keep relying on for pleasure instead of kind of being okay with like the whole human experience.

 

So what's your take on that would you say Yeah, I mean my my mom was actually quite a you know what we'd say like, you know, a healthy you know eater like was you know.

 

We had healthy food, people, and always say, Oh, did you eat German food all the time.

 

We really didn't, because German is pretty heavy probably probably not the most nutritious but so she I I remembered one thing in particular that was so out of character for her.

 

That's why I remember it so much. we would go to a dentist. It was a pediatric dentist, and you would think that this man would be maybe a nice person who like children.

 

No, he really was not. He was horrible, horrible man!

 

And you know when the law, you know a parent back and so it was so.

 

My mom didn't really know what was going on behind the scenes.

 

He was just really mean and impatient, and I was just in general a bit of a fearful, stressed out kind of a kid, anyway.

 

So it just was very stressful, for me to go to the dentist every 6 months, and so amir that on this office was a donut shop, and so so I don't know what I think I think I was so.

 

Worked up about it. or I don't even know what I think she felt so bad that we got in this habit of after the dentist she was take us to go eat a donut, which is hilarious right

 

You get like the fluoride, you know yeah you know because it's closer with, anyway.

 

She's like it's Okay, just go ahead and eat it like I have that memory seared in my brain because it was so out of the ordinary.

 

I remember what kind of doughnut she would always get.

 

I mean, it was just like, and also food like sugar, you know.

 

So So think about that you're very scared you have to do this thing that you don't like to do, and the reward on the other side of doing it is you get to eat a donut, and so that's just

 

such a glaring example of how those patterns are set up for us.

 

And again not blaming my mom or anything like that it's just It's just you know she was doing the best she could.

 

And really at that time, you know, in that in the world at that time, what else was she really supposed to do?

 

You know no one knew what to do anything else. So so I think that that, of course, that still persists.

 

You know you had, you know, some sporting effect that went well like we go out for ice cream, or a good report, card, or whatever it is like.

 

You know you scrape your knee here's a popsicle, you know, whatever it is, just just to to to get the child to try to feel better.

 

But what that represents to your point is our discomfort with someone else's emotions.

 

So the more we do this work on ourselves, and make space for us to experience our own emotions and not try to make them go away as quickly as possible.

 

We can offer that to the young people in our lives as well.

 

So I can tell. My My oldest child just turned 17 yesterday, which is really crazy.

 

And so thinking about him, I mean he was about 10 when I, you know, like, learn about coaching and everything.

 

So. So the first 10 years of his life was you know Mom pediatrician mom but didn't know any coaching, really or anything.

 

And then my 9 year old, who's my youngest she has you know, barely remembers anything like I've always known this kind of stuff.

 

So the way that I approached my younger children in terms of like, I can tell. there's an emotion there, I can tell. they're they're trying to hold it back, pulling them aside send them on on my lab giving

 

them a hug Just let it out it's okay you don't need to hold that in just let that all come out, you know, like in teaching them.

 

You don't need to feel better, the way. you'll feel better is by really seeing what this is exactly Exactly.

 

I mean you stop it, and it waits for you for later. Yeah, I find that this is like literally the most important work that we can ever do, because not only are we doing the work on ourselves, but where the ripple effects

 

are huge, like i've got boys, that how old are they now? 6 and 5 now, and it's so fun that they can actually feel their emotions and stuff like and and actually be like, hey?

 

This is what it feels like in my body this is it this color it's that, you know.

 

Sometimes I think they're making it out but it's fine at least they're like their bodies and stuff, and it's so like fun to like be able to like for them to be able to release that emotion rather

 

than and then you see how quickly they're able to get back to their everyday life instead of it bogging them down.

 

So it's like such important work. So thank you so much for all of that.

 

That is so amazing. I just wanted to kind of like round off by asking like these tools that you've learned, and that you you teach your clients.

 

How do you use them in other areas of your life? Yeah, I mean to me all the tools are applicable to every area of life, and we just use, you know, food and overeating as sort of the entry point you you know what

 

I mean, you could just as easily learn all of these tools and skills through.

 

You know, shopping too much, or gambling, or whatever whatever your way of numbing and feeling better.

 

You know, like whatever you prefer it's still the same the same thing.

 

So I use. I mean so much of what i've learned in terms of you know, through the the avenue of not overeating anymore.

 

I apply that to my work in my business I mean entrepreneurship has a reputation for a reason.

 

It is not easy. Yeah, So great and at times it is really great. and at times it just is it's that that you know, even if it if you're gonna have the super high highs you're gonna have some really low those

 

as well, and so I I regularly am working on processing my motions about what's happening. for me within the business.

 

Understanding just myself, and how i'm showing up in it using the business almost as the growth tool.

 

Now not necessarily the weight last journey. It informs how I parent so much.

 

I was actually thinking about this the other day when I get coached literally.

 

Almost never do I get coached on my children and I thought oh, that's so interesting!

 

Because I coach people on their children a lot I know a lot of people that that's the main thing they want to be coached on, I thought, Why, is that?

 

And I think so much of it is just my belief that it's like they're on their own life path. their own journey.

 

I'm here to support them. I can't possibly know how I how they should live their life like even when they're pretty little, which can be very different than what most people it's like a lot of controlling and you have to

 

be this certain way. but when you let go there's not a lot to be coach, so so so so much of this is is, you know it impacts all of my relationships.

 

It's because it really is like like I said the the weight loss and the the managing the eating is just the entry point, and the way that, like, if you've been using eating or drinking to solve certain problems you're then

 

invited to identify what those problems are, and figure out different solutions.

 

And so to a certain extent, it's the continuation of that work, because if I don't i'll probably end up going back to food, because what else would I do like you know I really don't want to start drugs.

 

or something that I could create more problems. So so I just find that that the the tools are in use, basically all of the time. Yeah.

 

And I think it's It really important to as you said that it's a good continuous process, because it's kind of like just deepening the tools.

 

Each time, and it's kind of like each layer is gonna be broached in a slightly different way.

 

So you may feel like Oh, i've dealt with this, and then it will come up in another Another layer of it will come up, and just to be okay with hey?

 

This is me just feeling the next layer of shame, or the next layer of disappointment, or the next layer of doubt, or whatever it may be.

 

And being okay with that and open to that and some of the understanding yourself on a deeper and deeper level, I think that's a huge huge part of it.

 

Right understanding. Where does this shame and this rejection?

 

And you know, whatever the emotion is like, where does this really come from And just, I think it's like an an evolution of learning how to take really excellent care of yourself Yeah, and so much of kind of like self-care is like well.

 

traders, i'll go and have a bath or you know, go and have a massage and stuff.

 

But true self-care is actually giving your body what it actually truly needs.

 

And without any kind of like Oh, this feels uncomfortable, but like in a luxurious way, I feel like that's like, and so much of coaching is like being able to be with your body.

 

So it may not be like very time, consuming, or anything.

 

It may actually take a few seconds like I think it takes 90 s to feel an emotion.

 

And to think. Am I willing to be with myself the 90 s?

 

It feels like, Okay, Yeah, I could probably really do that, even right? And so now, what I do is I tune into my body like multiple times a day, just to kind of be like, hey?

 

Like, Where, Where am I right now? and before I never used to like do this.

 

But now I actually put my hand on my heart and talk to myself like I would like my my like child. you know I literally have a picture of me when I was little, and I like talk to myself.

 

You know, like it's kind of It's kind of like, you know.

 

It feels really strange to even talk about. But it's just the work of like building up that relationship with yourself, and creating that safety with that with that like child version of you that I know learnt these ways of programming that sometimes just need a

 

bit of tweaking and a bit of like reprogramming.

 

So it's so amazing for you so much for for all of that. Any other tips that you have for any of my listeners that you would like to kind of impart any kind of last minute.

 

Words. you know I think the thing that's coming to me right now is is just you know a little public service announcement.

 

But if you're feeling any kind of rush, to lose weight, that's a really good indicator that you're focusing on things that will maybe get you temporary results.

 

But not long term results, so I always am recommending, like any time someone feels that time pressure, or in a hurry to get the weight off.

 

Really looking at. Why, that is like what do you think is going to be better once you get there.

 

If you're in a hurry, right there is gonna be better than here, you think, except that once you get there and you lose the way, Not much is going to be different.

 

Your clothes will be a different size, you know. maybe every day the same close will fit you. That can be fun.

 

I'm not gonna take that away, but not that much is really different if all you've done is changed your body size.

 

So what's really great is when you lose that weight and you feel what I call peace and freedom around food right where you can be around all of your favorite foods, all those sort of trigger foods all those ones that seem like

 

They're very hard to you know. control yourself. around you can be around them, and you could eat them and they would taste good.

 

You could also just as easily not eat them, and you would be fine.

 

With that I could jump it doesn't matter that much to you that is what feels so great about losing weight.

 

If you can create that. but just the weight. loss alone will not create that.

 

The the way you create piece of freedom around food is with your thinking, with your brain and processing your emotions.

 

And so so anytime someone's in a rush to get the weight off.

 

Hmm! it's like, Okay? Well, now, we need to pause we're overly emphasizing the thing, the the not the wrong thing, but something that's a small piece of the puzzle and we need to be focusing

 

in on what's really going to move the needle for us Yeah. And you just summarize that really well, and I know that you talk about that in your book.

 

How to lose weight for the last time. So tell us, how can we get hold of your book and find out more about you?

 

Yeah, So I It is available all everywhere now. so us uk Australia, South Africa, all because speaking countries it's available on Amazon.

 

It's available on audible as Well, as an audio book. I read the audio book myself.

 

Which was quite fun to be able to do that.

 

And so you know, for anybody who is a you know who's a doctor who takes care of patients.

 

It's also can be a really good resource for you to be able to just help your patient.

 

Someone we know that, you know, do not have time to get into it all.

 

It's so much right, so, being able to recommend a resource for them to be able to kind of you know.

 

Get some advice. I mean, we all know that stopping eating candy bars is probably gonna help us lose weight.

 

But how can we you know, create a way of eating that's going to support us, and then really diving into the emotional work as well?

 

Just kind of introducing the idea to them it's certainly not going to be like comprehensive.

 

Every single thing that they'll ever need but it gets them started, and and of course, for doctors as well can be helpful, and really anybody it's.

 

The book was written for the general public so so anybody who struggles with weight.

 

I think it's a great way like I remember when I was first learning about coaching.

 

I read a book that the coach had written. and I read that book in A.

 

I know i'm never gonna do that myself. so I think I need a hire.

 

You know what I mean. So so whoever is going to be the right person, you know, to to coach you like this can just be that initiating

 

You know fact, if it helps you to understand more about what coaching is, and how it can help you.

 

And and then you can decide what your next steps are moving forward.

 

Yeah, Well, thank you So much for coming on the podcast. today, Katrina.

 

It was a real pleasure to have you impart your knowledge with all the listeners, and I really appreciate you coming on.

 

Thank you so much. i'm doing so fun alright take care bye, bye, bye.