Rethinking diet mentality

Hello lovely ladies. Welcome to the podcast. So I am in this really creative mood at the moment. So I am going to be batch recording so many podcasts for you because the ideas that are flowing out in my head right now, I just feel like I'm in a much more creative space and I am really capitalising on this and just making sure I deliver all the value to you.

This is something that comes up so often with my coaching clients, so I wanted to talk to you about it so that it will help you on your journey too. And the phrase that they often say is I can't eat that. And it may be because they've decided to adopt a no sugar, no flour approach, or because they are vegetarian and they don't want to eat meat.

Or it may be because they're trying to give up drinking as part of their protocol. It could be due to so many different things, but in each and every situation, it's just not the truth. When you tell yourself, I can't have that, when that's the thought that is going around in your brain, how do you feel?

I want you to just bring that on for you. What is your version of that? It may be, I can't have dessert. It may be if you're calorie counting. Oh, that's too much for me in terms of calories. So I can't eat that. It may be if you're counting points, that's too many points for me and I can't eat that. Like, what is it for you?

What is your version of the, I can't have that thought. Now, the reason why this is important is because then you can apply it to yourself. I want you to think about how do you feel when you think I can't have that? I know for me, whenever I told myself I was on all these diets in the past. Right. And as you guys all know, but when I was doing the maple syrup and cayenne pepper and lemon diet, then whenever there was any food, I would say to myself, why can't.

When I was doing weight Watchers and I was counting my plates. I when it was too many points, then I would say to myself, well, I can't have that when I was doing slimming world. And, it was more than my allowance for the day. I would say, I can't have that. And I thought that I was actually doing myself a favor, but now that you know about the think, feel, do cycle, you know, that it's your thinking that creates your results.

Because when I was thinking the thought I can't have that, it made me feel deprived. And so the actions that I took from deprived would be completely different than if I was doing get out of choice. Right. So when I felt deprived, I would obsess about why I can't have that in everyone else's able to have it.

I would constantly keep reminding myself that there was something wrong with me because all these other people. I didn't have to lose weight, were not going through the same emotions as me. I would try to eat something that I thought was better, but then constantly keep telling myself that it wasn't good enough.

I would have that cognitive negative bias. Right. So I would always look for why it wasn't enough or why I couldn't eat it. And so many other people could. Right. And then what I would do is I would either eat because I would think, oh, do you know what? This is too hard? Let me just eat.

Or I would kind of really like use up so much of my willpower and then be exhausted by the end of it and just make myself miserable by, restricting myself. So. So then the result that I created was that for me, anyway, I just ended up eating most of the time, because it was just easy to get that quick fix of dopamine in the moment than have to deal with all of this discomfort.

How often is that showing up for you? How often do you tell yourself? Oh, I can't eat. I was just a wedding recently with one of my recent clients, who's just gone through the program and she said, oh, it's so fun that I get to eat all the things, but there's a few other people there who were really like, she heard them talking about, oh, um, I can't eat this because this is too fattening.

They were talking about veneer. And I was just thinking, isn't that so interesting. So many people still say to themselves, I can't have. Because they think it's the veneer that's creating the results of the weight gain. Whereas, no, it's not the paneer. It's your thoughts about it? There's some people who lose weight, eating Panera, and there's some people who gained weight, eating veneer.

And the only difference in that is what are you choosing to think about it? If you're thinking that it's like the worst thing in the world, and it's never going to get you to your goal and you can't content. Then you're most likely going to feel deprived and want to anyway, and you may actually end up eating it and then feel guilty and shame yourself for eating it.

And then that makes you get stuck in this cycle, right? Because you want to avoid those negative emotions, which is why you're eating in the first place. And then you bring up so much negative emotion. When you tell yourself that you can't have it. So when you think about a toddler, when you tell a toddler that they're not allowed to do something, what do they.

They go and do the exact thing, right. Or they have a little toddler tantrum in various cases, not a little toddler tantrum. It's a big toddler tantrum. So when I tell, V-Ray that you're not allowed touch whatever it is that I've told him not to touch, he's going to go and do it. Or he's going to create a big, who hard that, like, why am I not allowed to.

So it's are actually the same, right? When you say to yourself that I can't do it, I can't eat this. Some of you might have that little rebel living inside of you. You may be like, no one tells me what to do. No one tells me what I can and can't eat. Right. And then you actually end up going to do it, to prove to yourself that you're going to do it just to be.

Isn't that so interesting because the actual thing that you don't want to do, you end up doing, because you tell yourself you can't do it, or you end up making it such a big deal that you can't have X or Y in your brain, because that's what you've said to yourself. And then what you end up doing is using all of your willpower and exhausting yourself, and then often at the end of it eating anyway.

So what is that thing? And a lot of my clients initially come in with the stories about, oh, I can't eat sugar and flour to be part of this program. Now let me make it very clear to you. There's some of my clients who eat sugar and flour and still lose a lot of weight. So this is not something that you have to do eat sugar and flour or not eat sugar and flour.

That's kind of irrelevant. the reason I suggest it is because it just makes your hunger and your urges a little bit easier, but there's still a lot of people who lose a lot of weight. changing how much sugar, how they eat and that's completely fine. So you get to decide what is right for you.

But often clients, when they come in, they think I have to, stick to this. Otherwise I will not lose weight. So then they end up telling themselves, oh, I can't eat sugar and flour, but the truth is they just lying to themselves, right? Because no, one's holding them up by the throat onto a wall or whatever, and saying, you're not allowed to.

But their brain thinks of it as if I'm part of this program. I have to do it. And so the only way to do that is telling myself I can't eat it, but that's just not true. You can eat anything you want. And I want you to think about that for a second. When you're thinking the thought I get to choose everything that goes into my mouth, or I can eat anything I want.

How does that feel? I know for me, I feel so free when I say. And we're not feeding free, then I don't need to stick to a very rigid, restrictive plan. I don't need to keep proving to myself that I can't do it and then end up giving in overeating. I get to just eat what was on my plan and not have it be a big deal because when you're telling yourself that I can eat anything that I put on my plan, but right now I'm choosing not to because of X, Y, and Zed.

For me when I was initially stopping eating sugar and flour, I felt a lot of restriction. I felt a lot of deprivation. I felt so much Resentment towards that. I was like, everyone else gets to eat it. Why don't I get to eat it? Why can't I just eat like a normal person? And then all of that would make me end up overeating anyway, until I realized one day that all that, no, one's holding a, gun to my head saying that you can't eat the sugar and flour.

I'm choosing not to eat it. And why am I choosing not to. Because when I do eat it, I feel bloated. I feel exhausted. I feel sluggish. My concentration. Isn't very good. I ended up not sleeping very well. I end up gaining weight. I ended up feeling really uncomfortable. So when I'm making that choice that I'm choosing not to eat it because it just gave me my power back and it took the power away from the food and allowed me to retain that power.

Right. So, what is it for you? I want you to try on the thought I can eat it, but I'm choosing not to because, and see how that feels different in your body, because that is the actual truth. There's nothing in life that you have to do. Everything that you are doing is a choice that you're making, even when it doesn't feel.

Even when you're feeling an emotion like deprivation, you may think, why would I choose to feel deprived? It's only because of a subconscious thought that you're thinking, and that's why coaching. Powerful. Right? Because often your feelings are driven by subconscious thoughts that you're not even aware that you're thinking, but it shows up in your results, which is why, when you have a coach, they're able to show you your mind.

They're able to show you what your currently thinking. That's creating your results, even if you're not aware of it, right? That's the power of having someone outside of you, pointing out to you, what your brain is doing right now. So when you next have that thought, oh, I can't have it. How are you going to react?

It is the pattern right now that you are eating to get rid of your negative emotions, but the truth is you get to eat exactly what you want, but what do you want to hear? Now most people say to me, yeah, what do I want to eat? Of course, I want to eat all the chocolate when eat all the biscuits, but I want you to really think about it.

Do you really want them, when you think about all the, consequences you have from eating them? A lot of my clients talk about how they then get much more urges. The urge is so much stronger. They get much more hungry. They find it much harder to stick to their protocol. It normally leads them to eat more and more off protocol.

They end up quitting a lot on themselves, just little micro quits, and then it turns into a big, big quit. So if you know that they're the. Actual results of what you're creating. When you're thinking, I want to eat all the things then, is that really what you want? Because then you get to decide, right?

You get to decide, do I want this or do I not want it? Then you get to decide. I can have anything that I want, but I'm choosing no. 'cause when I'm, actually in control of my thinking and the I'm reminding myself that, of course I get to choose to eat anything that I want in this world, but I'm choosing not to right now because of the effects it has on my body and on my brain that just gives you your power back.

And then when you're feeling empowered, what are you going to do? That's going to be. You may decide, I'm going to stick to my plan. I'm going to put things on my plan that I actually want to eat, but actually that make me feel good as well. You may decide. Yeah, I am going to go off protocol sometimes, but it's never because I couldn't have the food it's because I just chose to have it.

And you may take responsibility for those things rather than blaming other things or other things. So, what I want you to do is really pay attention to the think, feel, do cycle. What are the thoughts you're having about food? Do you have any restrictive diet, mentality type thinking of, I can't have this.

If I eat this, then I'll get fat. Let me just remind you that the food never creates the result of you getting fat. It's your thinking about it when you're thinking that I can't have this and if I eat too much of this, it's going to make me fat. Then you're in that diet mentality.

You're in that, oh, I need to eat a certain amount to actually lose weight. Whereas actually what you really need to do is just pay attention to what you're actually thinking, how you're feeling, what actions you're taking, when you're feeling that way and what results that's creating for you.

And yeah. And then you go back and evaluate and you think, okay, what I was thinking, this, this is the result that I was creating. Do I like that result? And if not, how can I tweak the way I'm thinking a little bit to tweak the results that I'm getting. Sometimes it may actually be that the thoughts that are.

Creating that result for you. It's just that you need to just tweak the actions a little bit. So you may want to tweak the thinking to provide a different emotion. So it may be, I wonder why I am overeating at dinner time. And that may make you feel curious, which may lead to the actions of you brainstorming the reasons, looking at what was going on for you being open to.

Different solutions, maybe getting coached on it, maybe writing about it and the thought download and exploring the different things. Maybe actually feeling your emotions and seeing what's going on, because then that will lead to the result of you finding out what was going on for you, so that you can learn from it and actually use that information to help drive you forward.

So in summary, there is nothing that you cannot do. Whenever you're telling yourself that it's just a lie. You're telling yourself you can eat anything in this world, but right now you may just be choosing not to eat certain things because of how it makes you feel. I know for me, on my weight loss journey, I had to really change the way I talked about certain foods had to really get rid of so much diet mentality, because I'd been socialised to believe that if I ate this food, then I would get fat and that's just not true.

I eat chocolate every day, chocolate every day. And I'm at goal weight. And that's only because I have de villainised so many foods. They're not the villain, but when I'm able to make slight shifts in the way I'm thinking, I'm able to make shifts in my results. And that's what I'm asking you to do. So start paying attention to when you have thoughts of, I can't do this or I can't.

Because that is, what's going to create your result. When you keep thinking, I can't eat this, you keep proving to yourself that you need to restrict yourself to lose the weight. That's just not true. So when you can shift that a little bit, that's going to change everything for you. Okay. That's enough for today.

I will see you again next week. Have an amazing week ladies. Bye-bye.