Profound lessons from group coaching

Hello ladies, welcome to episode 29.

In this podcast, I'm going to talk about the lessons from my past group coaching program and my current group coaching program, which I think you will find really useful. So before we get into that, did you know that my enrollment for the January group coaching program is open.

So if you resonate with anything that I say and would like to find out more, then go to my website, www.amruticoaching.com, where you can sign up for the group. And if you wanted to talk to me about it, you can sign up for a consult with me one-to-one so that we can talk through what you're struggling with, what you'd like to achieve and how coaching may be able to help you.

So make sure you sign up for that. Now, as I usually start off with the podcast, I just wanted to update you on everything that's going on in my life. So I've been busy putting together some amazing content for the new group and creating a new course, which is so useful. So I'm hoping that that can come out in the next couple of months so that when you join in January, it will be there for you as well.

It is one on how to feel your urges really effectively. So this is something that I know most of my clients struggle with the most, and it's something that I really wanted to dive into in depth, in a separate course in my program. So that's something that I'm going to be working on. My current course has lots of amazing resources on urges and it has gone into a lot of depth, but I just think that I can serve all of you much better when I go into even further depth on that.

So that's something that is due to be on my task list in the new year, which will be amazing. I'm really looking forward to that.

Personally things are going really well. I am loving the webinar that I just did. If you didn't see that you can catch the replay if you sign up for it on the website. And if you're still struggling with overeating during the Christmas period, then you can get my freebie, which is the seven steps to stop overeating during the festival season, and that's also on the website.

So loads of free resources that you can get on the website so make sure you go and check it out. Now, my kids are going to be off soon and I'm really looking forward to having a week off at the holidays. I am looking forward to really celebrating this year.

It's been an amazing year and this kind of brings me on to the podcast for today. So I've called it lessons from group coaching, but I wanted to start off by telling you about how I came up with the idea for the group coaching and why I decided to do that.

So initially in March - was it March, I think? Or February, March, I was thinking, okay, I would really love to have a group coaching program. At that point, I was doing one-to-one coaching and I was creating some amazing results for my one-to-one clients, but I noticed that we didn't have a community, and there was a lot of shame in weight loss. And so I thought that my clients would benefit a lot from having a community of like-minded women who are on the same track who want to achieve the same goal. And I thought that it would be really useful for them to see others going through the struggles that they're going through because in weight loss, there's so much shame. There's so much like "I don't want to talk about the things that I'm struggling about."

There's so much like, "oh, it's only me that's doing it wrong." And I thought that if we were in a group, everyone was able to see other people's struggles and other people's wins, then it would normalise the process for them. That weight loss isn't just a very happy process. It can be quite tough sometimes.

And so when you're in a group of other women who are going through the exact same thing, it makes you feel less lonely and more likely to normalise that process. So that was one of the reasons why I wanted to, but also I'm a part of several group coaching programs, and I find so much benefit in watching other people getting coached.

So I also have a one-to-one coach and I have several group coaching programs. And I noticed that actually, when I'm in the group, I often get way more benefit because I'm seeing how other people's minds function. And even when the coach is coaching the other person in the group, I'm gaining so much from it.

So say in an hour, four or five people get coached, I'm getting four to five times worth of that value in that time, because I'm able to apply that to my brain. And it may be things that I haven't even thought about in the past. So that's why it's so, so amazing for me in my group coaching program, because I get to see my clients doing the same thing.

But going back to why I put it together, so that was one of the main reasons. So I was at that stage in my business where I was fully booked in my one-to-one coaching practice, and I was not wanting people to wait to work with me because I wanted to offer them some value quite soon. So I decided to start a group coaching program, and I knew that I could impact so many more people when I was in a group.

And I noticed that in my one-to-one coaching, I was often saying the same things, and so I thought that if I had a group coaching program, I could say it once to the women that were in that group. So I thought that in a group coaching program, the things that I'm teaching quite often, I could create some videos for them and I could create worksheets to actually allow them to put it into practice so much more.

And I could offer a community for them by offering them that private Facebook group and the thing that they wanted most from me in my one-to-one was the protocol support. So they would send me their protocols and their weights, and then I would make tweaks if they weren't losing weight adequately.

So I decided why don't I take the best bits of the one-to-one coaching and incorporate it with the group coaching so that I provide the most valuable resource to my clients. So that's exactly what I did. I started a group coaching program and in that I created an amazing comprehensive course of five months worth of modules, each module, you know, having six or seven videos in there and each month them having access to the teachings that I offer with worksheets so that they are able to apply that learning to their lives on demand so they can watch the videos again and again, and again, if they wanted to, and they can really apply it to their life with the worksheets. And then I set up a private Facebook group. So it's only for the members and they really got to know each other.

They were really supporting each other in there and everything, and it was just amazing. But that was the aim. I wanted people to have that group where they would have other people who are supporting them on their journey and people who are already on the same journey.

So people who got it, people who understood their pain points, people who were going through the same thing as them. And then I thought I could still have the protocol support where they would still individually send that to me. And then that would be the bit where I would make suggestions they may be able to change based on what they're currently eating. So that was a really fun thing. So what I did is I decided to do it and I set a goal of having 30 members in my first group. It was just an arbitrary number that I pulled out of thin air. And I thought, yeah, I could easily help 30 women do this.

And I did a webinar on how to lose weight for the last time, which is a webinar that I also did a week ago. If you hadn't seen that, you can go and catch the replay on the website. And after the webinar I had one person sign and I was really disappointed. I was like, oh my goodness. I was hoping for 30 people to sign up and I had one person sign up.

So I felt a lot of disappointment. I also felt a little bit of shame thinking, oh, maybe people don't want this as much. And there was a lot of doubt going on in my brain. And then I had another person sign up and that was another client who wanted to go from one-to-one to group because she saw the benefits of group.

And then I had another current client signup. And so by the end of the launch, I was thinking, oh, this is the end of it now. And I had three people in my group. I was a little bit disappointed and I was thinking, oh, well, that's one 10th of ideal goal. And one coach said to me, well, it isn't over until you decide it's over.

So that really struck me and I thought, oh, oh yeah, I still have a few weeks until my group coaching program starts. So I could still carry on making offers if I wanted to. And that had me having to overcome that disappointment and really focus on my clients and think, I know that this will really help so many people.

So would I be willing to feel this discomfort right now to allow me to find the people who want to be helped in this. And I took that on board and made some offers again and two further ladies signed up and in the end I had five ladies in my first group coaching program. And it was the best six months of so much growth.

So many of them had so much transformation, one lost 15 kilos in that six months, another lost 12 kilos in that six months. And this is with no exercise, ladies. What we were learning were the six steps of weight loss, and we were learning how to apply them again and again, we were learning how to eat the foods that we loved without feeling overly hungry, without having so many urges for all the things we were able to eat with our family, we were able to eat whilst on holiday.

We were able to eat in a way that we would be able to eat for the rest of our lives. And that was my aim. It wasn't something that's overly restrictive and going back to diet mentality, it was having a sustainable way of eating where the ladies would be able to stick to it for the rest of their lives. So another one of my clients lost eight kilos and she was already normal BMI.

So for her, that was amazing. Another one was pregnant during the time and she wanted to come in because she wanted to learn the tools to not overeat so that when she then gave birth, she would be able to apply these tools and start losing weight adequately. So she only gained a few kgs in her pregnancy and it was so phenomenal that all of them had such amazing results.

It was such powerful work. And so we just finished our group coaching program about a month ago, maybe, just over a month ago. And I asked them what they had gained. And so I wanted to read out some of their answers because you may resonate and, if you do resonate, then I would urge you to consider signing up for the next group coaching program, because you can also get these results for yourself.

So what did we do during that time? We did so much. We learned how to eat to hunger. We learned how to process our urges. We learned how to feel our emotions and it doesn't just have to be to do with food. We were talking about some emotions that some of my clients felt that they had been pushing away for so long.

One of my clients was willing to feel shame in her business, shame in her personal life, shame about overeating, shame about gaining weight. There was so much shame that we were processing and in a normal weight loss program this isn't the focus.

Most people think about, okay, what do you need to eat? What do you need to do? What exercise do you need to do? All of these ladies lost this weight without doing any exercise. And that's not because I'm against exercise at all. In fact, I love exercise. I think it's amazing. But for weight loss, it's just not very effective. It is only 5% of weight loss and 95% is diet and mindset, which is what we focus on in the program.

So I just wanted to read out some of the things that they said. So some of the things that one of my clients said is I learned how to keep calm and carry on. I learned how to listen to my body. I learnt how to know that my primitive brain is going to offer me all of these thoughts and I don't always have to listen to it and act from it.

I learned that my body is not a dumping ground. I learned to process and understand my emotions. I learned that only I can control myself and how much I eat and what I eat. I learned that others don't have the power to allow my emotion. I learned that I can lose weight and enjoy good food. This particular client had chicken biryani, which was her favourite every single Friday and Saturday during our program. So she got to eat her favourite food, chicken biryani, and she even said to me, I can't believe I'm actually losing weight whilst eating my favourite food. So this is what we do here.

She said, I learned how to get rid of my instruction manual for others. I learned how to love and respect myself. I learned how to accept people and circumstances as they are and not be negatively influenced. Oh my goodness. Just reading this makes me get a bit emotional. That six months of working with me, they were able to do so much. This is just one client.

The thing that really struck me about this was she learned to listen to her body. She was able to learn how to listen to her body, enjoy good food and learn how to love and respect herself. Everyone talks about all self-love, self-respect and all of that, but actually learning how to practice that, learning what thoughts were coming in her way and how we could actually get her to do that was really eyeopening for her.

Allowing herself to process and understand her emotions, knowing that they're just vibrations in her body and they will never harm her was so profound for her because after this six months for the rest of her life, she didn't need to overeat to get rid of those emotions ever again. She learned the tools how to feel her emotions so she never needed to rely on food to numb them out again.

So okay, the next client, she said, I learned how to become aware of my thoughts. I learnt how to download my thoughts and coach myself on them. I learnt how to be self-compassionate and self-loving I learned only I can make myself feel a negative emotion.

I learned, I have the power to say no, I learned that I'm in control of what outcome I would like. I learned that I can stop being my harshest critic. I learned that I don't have to be scared to imagine my future self. I learned that I can prove to myself that I can see things through to the end.

And I learned that I do not have to have a manual for other people. This is so profound. Most people focus on what to do during weight loss, but as you can see, these ladies have learned how to think in a way that they were able to maintain their weight loss. The thing that struck me about this was this client learned how to be self-compassionate and self-loving.

She was her harshest critic, and now it doesn't mean that she's never going to criticise herself. That's not what we're trying to get. We're trying to allow that we will have some self-criticism and that doesn't mean it's a bad thing, but how can we show ourselves some self love and self compassion in the same way? How can we give equal air time to that?

At least meaning if we are criticising ourselves all the time, how can we just remind ourselves to be compassionate to ourselves, to love ourselves? And the thing that struck me about this one also was I have the power to say no. Yes, she didn't need to people please others every single time. She learned how to say no so that she could say yes to herself and that wasn't selfish or anything like that.

It was actually an act of self-love for herself. Amazing. reading this, it just fills my heart with so much joy. So the next. She said, I've learned how to lose 15 kilos and keep it off. I have not given up. I have shown up for most of the coaching calls. I have continued and coached after some gain in weight.

I have felt shame on purpose. I've gotten better at feeling my emotions. I have understood that I can actually have some food changes, like no sugar, no flour for a little while, which I previously told myself was impossible. I am still doing intermittent fasting and having my first meal later on in the day, I regularly go hiking on an empty stomach, which I thought was impossible, but instead it's giving me more energy.

And I learned that if I stopped being so critical of myself and give myself time and space, it really takes the pressure off. And I advanced more quickly. This is so good. This is something that she thought she would never be able to do. Intermittent fasting, not having sugar and flour. This is something that she thought she would never be able to do.

And she did feel discomfort in the moment. She did find it uncomfortable initially, but then it just became the norm. And it doesn't mean she didn't have sugar and flour in her journey. Of course she did. But at the beginning she was able to balance her hunger hormones.

She goes hiking on a Sunday morning on an empty stomach. What?! Before she would've been like, no, no, I need food before I go, because that is going to give me the energy to go on the hike. Now she has more energy when she's fasting. How amazing is that? So fun. But the thing that really struck me was that she learned how to stop being so critical of herself and give herself the time and space to really take the pressure off.

And that actually allowed her to advance more quickly. A lot of my clients think, oh, well, I don't have the time to work on myself. I'm already so overwhelmed with everything that I have to do, this is going to take so much time.

That's just a thought error, it doesn't have to take so much time if you give yourself that time and that space, it doesn't take very long.

You can work on this for as long as you want, but it doesn't mean that the more you work on it, the better it will be. It's just that when you are really willing to give it a go and really commit to it, that's the thing that matters. So are you willing to commit to it? And just to end, I just wanted to talk about some of the current group wins that we've had.

So we've not even been in my current group for not even eight weeks. Eight to nine weeks. Yeah. And they have had so many wins already. One of my clients is already normal BMI. She came in with normal BMI and she's already lost seven kilos in eight weeks. I did say to her that her weight loss may be a little bit slower, but for her, she's already lost that much weight and she's absolutely killing it.

Other clients have been losing weight whilst eating out four times in a week and drinking alcohol. This just blew their minds. They were like, wait, what? I can lose weight while eating out four times and drinking?! Some of them are losing weight whilst going away on holiday and being able to show themselves that they don't need to overeat whilst in the private lounges, when they're waiting for their plane, they don't need to overeat when they're in an all inclusive resort, they don't need to overeat when they've got room service at their fingertips.

They get to manage their minds in that time and lose weight whilst on holiday, which they thought previously was completely unbelievable. They've been losing weight whilst taking part in all the Diwali celebrations, whilst going to all these Christmas parties, they've been feeling their emotions when they were scared that they may have a potential medical diagnosis.

And that fear, they'll be able to feel that fear and the way the group rallied around and supported that client was just phenomenal. It really filled my heart up with so much joy. They were able to heal grief. So many of my clients have lost loved ones in the last year, or two years specifically, but some of them have been going around with this sadness and this grief for several years and just talking about it and coaching through it has allowed them to feel some of those negative emotions that they haven't felt for so many years, allow them to process those emotions rather than using that food to numb them out.

Diwali was a really hard time for a lot of my clients, and a lot of negative emotion did come up. And this is when they were able to process that emotion because of the tools that we learned. It was so profound.

They learned how to pay attention to hunger, even when they're at work parties. They learn how to stop people pleasing others, and learn how to start pleasing themselves. They learned how to process urges and stick to that protocol that they had planned so that they prove to themselves that they're important.

They learned how to heal old rubbish thoughts that they had and that they thought for decades. Damn, the work in this group is phenomenal. So this is just some of what we're doing in the group. They come in for weight loss and they gain so much more.

So if any of this resonates with you and you would like to lose weight for the last time, the enrollment for my group coaching program is open.

So you can sign up by going to the website, www.amruticoaching.com and you can request to join or if you want to find out more and you wanted to talk through a few things, you can book a consult with me.

I look forward to helping you on this journey and this January can feel completely different for you in a very good way.

It's normal for you to feel scared and doubtful. And that will always be the case when you're doing something new. But if you're fed up of going on a new diet every year and failing and feeling so rubbish about yourself, come and join the group.

We will get to the bottom of why you usually fail on diets. What thoughts are blocking you and help you work through those? So you never need to set a weight loss goal in January again.

It ends now come and join us. I'll see you inside.  Bye ladies.