Physical vs emotional deprivation

Hello lovely ladies! How are you today? I am on a creative binge. If that makes sense. I am feeling super creative and my mind is flowing with ideas. So I am batch recording some podcasts for you and today the podcast is going to be on deprivation and this is an emotion that comes up a lot in my clients.

And so I wanted to dive into the feeling of deprivation, the differences between emotional and physical deprivation and how we can change our thinking to stop feeling emotionally deprived. So let's get started. So let's start off with the definition of deprivation. So one of the deprivation definitions that I found was "the lack or denial of something considered to be a necessity."

So this was really useful for me in identifying the difference between physical and emotional deprivation, because starting with physical deprivation. When I think about that, I think it being the body fighting against something that you're not giving it, that it needs to do to survive. So for example, sleep deprivation.

So when you're not sleeping enough, when you don't sleep for a long time, your body fights back and just needs a good sleep, right. If you're not drinking enough water, your body provides the sensation of thirst. So. It signals to you that to ensure my survival, I need you to drink some water. So drink some water.

If you are say underwater, and you're holding your breath for a long time, your body will be able to adapt for a short amount of time. But then if it's not getting enough oxygen in the blood, then it will encourage you to take. So that you can get oxygen into the blood so that I can transport it to the cells.

So to ensure your survival, it will need, you to take a breath. So whenever I think about physical deprivation, it kind of goes in with the definition that we had, right. The lack or denial of something considered to be a necessity. So, if you think about these things, these are necessary for our survival, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, getting enough oxygen for our body.

So this is what I think about when I think about physical deprivation, what are the things that I need to do to keep my body alive. Now let's think about what is emotional deprivation. And whenever I think about emotional deprivation, I think of it as a feeling. And as you know, from the think feel, do model, what creates a feeling, my feelings are created by my thinking.

So whenever you are feeling deprivation, it's created by a thought that you have been thinking, so this may be thoughts. Like I wanted, I can't have it. Oh, this can have it. And I can't, it's not fair. All of these thoughts may create the feeling of deprivation for you. So when you are feeling deprived, it may be useful for you to know how it feels in your body.

How do you know that you're feeling deprived? Because I want you to think about the last time that you felt. If you're on a weight loss journey and you know, you are feeling deprived. This is very normal. It happens so often to my clients. And what I want you to think about is physical deprivation is not very common.

It's very uncommon that you would be physically deprived. Now some people say, yeah, but when I'm giving up sugar, I could get sugar with. And yes, you may feel some symptoms with sugar withdrawal. You may feel cranky. You may feel intense hunger. Your urges may be stronger, but none of these things are going to threaten your survival.

And so yes, you may feel a bit uncomfortable. You may feel some physical symptoms. They may be quite strong, but when you're willing to go through that discomfort, You'll come out the other side and your body is able to adapt and your taste buds are able to adjust. And it just isn't that big of a deal.

Right? I'll give an example. So I used to be someone who loved white chocolate. That was the chocolate that I would choose every single time. And the reason I loved it from childhood was because it was the sweetest creamiest drunk. And that's what I always used to love. That's what I thought was the chocolate.

That was my favourite. And I went on this weight loss journey and I hadn't given up sugar at that point. And I was still occasionally when I was feeling deprived, I would have some, and it would be. Generate that big dopamine hit in my brain. And it would remind me of all of the thoughts that you used to have as a child, that this is the best type of chocolate.

And this is how I would reward myself and things like that. And then when I went on my coaching job, I decided to give up chocolate. And initially it was a big deal for me. I felt so much deprivation. And I was like, oh my goodness, this is such a big change. I can't believe I have to eat this way. This is not fair.

So many other people get to eat other ways and things like that. And then I realised my thoughts create my feelings. Right? So when I was thinking this way, that was what was creating my deprivation, not whether I had white chocolate or didn't have white chocolate that wasn't causing my deprivation. It was my thinking about that.

So I decided to just tweak my, thinking a little bit and I just tweaked it to, I get to have white chocolate anytime I want, but right now I'm choosing not to. And instead of deprivation that small tweak in my thinking actually made me feel in control. And I was like, oh my goodness. I just tweaked it a little bit.

And I felt completely different in myself. When I was feeling in control, I was able to actually follow my plan and I was able to reward myself with my own thinking rather than rewarding myself with food. Right. And so. this happened to me quite a lot in my journey. And like now I'm only a dark chocolate eater.

Like I hardly ever eat white chocolate because I think it's too sweet. And this is what I was talking about. Like your, taste buds do adjust and it doesn't have to be that much of a big deal because initially it was a big deal for me, but then I provided. My brain and my body would safety that nothing's gone wrong.

This is just the process of change. And when I normalise that, now I am a dark chocolate girl. I eat 85% dark chocolate every single day. And it's amazing. it suits my body. It tastes amazing. I've become a bit of a chocolate snob. Now I used to love milk and white chocolate before, and now I find that too sweet.

So I only eat dark chocolate. same thing with tea. Like I only used to drink tea with two sugars before and like fully Milky tea. And then I was like, when I was on my weight loss journey, I was like, okay, I'm going to change it to sweeteners because you know, in the nineties there was this big thing about sweeteners being more healthy and things.

And I thought that that was a good change for me. And so then I read the obesity code by Dr. Jason Fung, and I realized that sweeteners weren't really very healthy for me either. So I decided to not have sweeteners and I really didn't like the taste of tea without it. And I struggled and then I would end up having sugar and then feeling bad about.

And then what I decided was I know that this is going to be a bit uncomfortable for me, but this is a process that I wanted to go through because I wanted to become a person who didn't rely on sweetness to dictate whether I enjoyed something or not. I wanted to be able to enjoy some tea without needing it to be sweet.

So, because I wanted that result, I decided to. challenged myself with my thinking. And yes, it was a process. There were times that I completely gave in and I ended up having the sweetener, all the sugar and things like that. But when I kept looking at it, evaluating it, and then seeing where I needed to improve, that's where I was able to tweak things.

So now I've weaned myself off my sweetener and I have Indian tea without any sugar fully made with milk. And I have it with a slab of dark chocolate and it's so. So, what I want you to think about is what kind of deprivation are you feeling? Is yours physical deprivation or is it emotional deprivation?

And when you think of emotional deprivation, this is an emotion created by your thinking. And I want you to think about what is the thought that you are having that is creating your emotional deprivation, because when you think about it, physical deprivation is quite easy to see. It's very unlikely that the physical deprivation is what you are feeling.

And if it is it's very easy and your body drives you towards making sure you are not physically deprived by making sure you're sleeping enough, making sure you're getting enough water. making sure you are breathing basically because that's going to ensure your survival. So whenever I think about physical deprivation, it's the things that will ensure your survival.

Yeah. The vast majority of the time, you're feeling emotionally deprived because of the thought that you are thinking. And so I want you to start thinking, even if you do have some of those physical sensations, what is the thought that is coming up for you when you are feeling emotionally deprived?

Because if it's your thinking, that's making you feel deprived, you have control of your thinking. And your brain is able to create new neural pathways through practice, which is the work that we do in the group coaching program. Right. We practice. Then we deal with any obstacles that come up and we coach on them.

Then we practice again. Then we deal with any obstacles that come up and coach on them. And then we practice again. And that's the actual process of developing a new neural pathway, right? Because you didn't come out of the womb wanting. sugar, like that was just not a, not a thing. Yes. You wanted fuel to survive, but it wasn't sugar.

You just wanted something. And so you taught yourself that every time I eat sugar, I get a huge dopamine hit in my brain. So I want more of it. So if you taught yourself that you can easily teach yourself another way, and that may be. Right now I'm choosing to eat in a certain way because of the way I want to feel.

And that may be a slight tweak on what you're currently thinking. If that doesn't sit with you, try and think of another slight shift in your thinking that will help you with this. I'll give you an example. So my client, she used to love olive Pronto. So for people who don't know what that is, that is a.

chip party stuffed with, potato stuffing. And it's something that is traditional in parts of north. And she used to eat them weekly. It reminded her of her childhood. It reminded her of her mum showing her love when she used to eat them. It kind of reminded her of family time. And she had a lot of positive thoughts associated with them and she used to eat them weekly.

And then when she came on this journey, she decided, oh, I can't eat. And, you know, they're, stopping my weight loss and even her sister made some comments. saying, will you never eat them? That's so restrictive. You're being so antisocial. And so this really affected my client because she initially felt deprived because she thought I can't have them.

So then we questioned whether she could have them or not. And what she realised is of course she could have. She got to decide anything she put on her plan. She got to decide anything she put in her mouth. So she decided that, yes, I want to have them now and again, but I don't want to be addicted to them.

And be like at the mercy of them. Right. So she panned for them. And instead of having three, she would have two. And then we kind of assessed how she felt. And she actually felt really good in control. And then she planned for one and then we kind of assessed how she was feeling. She felt fine. And it's because she chose to believe that I get to choose what.

And then she challenged herself to have them every other week because she wanted to feel fine, not eating them, but also fine eating them. She didn't want to feel guilty eating them, and she wanted to feel fine when she ate them as well and not need to keep eating more and more and more because what she realised is how she felt and the taste of it did not get better.

The more she ate the taste was the same. But all she realised is when she used to keep eating them again and again, and again, she just wanted to prolong the pleasure and actually the taste was exactly the same. So when she reminded herself that, oh, the taste is exactly the same. Whether I eat five or with the right one, she was able to kind of really save the taste of the one and to be completely fine.

So now she eats them, but she doesn't have to eat them every week. And when she does eat them, she plans for them. And she really likes every time she eats them. And it's because she knows that the it's not the other Pronto, that's creating her weight result. It's hard thinking about them when she was.

Fearing them. She was layering on shame and blamed herself when she ate them. And then she wanted to push away all those negative emotions. And then ended up eating more. So now she allows herself to eat them when she feels like them and is able to maintain her weight without any problem. So you don't need to give up flour and sugar forever.

You still get to eat the things that you love, but after you make a choice of how. You want to feel in your body and after seeing how you respond to it in your body, and then you get to decide, right? So before I used to feel deprived, but now I don't, and it's because of my thinking. So this is completely possible for you to, so in summary, I want you to think about.

Physical or emotional deprivation that you are feeling physical deprivation is something that's going to actually ensure your survival. So sleep, water breathing. And it's very unlikely that you're feeling deprived because of physical deprivation. So I want you to think what is the thought creating the emotion of deprivation.

And become aware of the stories you tell yourself, that's creating the emotional deprivation, those thoughts that you were thinking. The first step is accept that you're thinking this and that makes you feel deprived. And then you take these actions and these are the results you create when you're thinking this.

And if you don't like the result, you can tweak your thinking to create different results. As you're not going to create lasting results when it's fueled by the feeding of deprived. So what do you want to do? I love thinking I get to eat anything I want, but today I'm choosing to stick to the plan that I made and that makes me feel in control.

And then the actions I take, I stick to my plan. I evaluate, I make my plan more realistic. And then I create the result of sticking to my plan and keep making my plan more and more doable for myself. So I'm more and more likely to keep sticking to my plan. So when you are feeling deprived, I want you to ask you.

What is the thought that is creating this emotional deprivation for me, if I don't like the result is creating in my life, how do I want to change the way I'm thinking about this to generate a different emotion, which is going to allow me to take different actions and create a different result for myself.

If you have taught yourself to feel deprived, you can teach yourself to feel any other emotion that is going to drive you to lose the weight for. Okay. That's enough for me for today. I will see you again next week. Take care. Bye-bye.