Meera's transformation story

Hey ladies. So I wanted to let you know about the amazing webinar that I'm doing on Monday the 10th of October at 12:00 PM, B S T. It is going to be the amazing webinar, plan your way to permanent weight loss, and it is going to cover all of the issues that most people struggle with when they think about planning.

it is going to cover all the mindset tools that you can start employing right now to start making a doable plan that actually works for you. I'm going to be teaching you all the theory. I'm gonna be teaching you what to actually do. And it is gonna be a webinar that will change your weight loss journey and your actual life if you start putting into practice, some of the things that I talk. So this is a webinar that you definitely don't want to miss. So make sure you go to the link in the show notes to sign up for that webinar. That link is www.amruticoaching.com/webinar. And when you go to that link, it's in the show notes, it will take you to the sign up page.

You sign up and you will be sent the link. And, a few reminder emails before the actual webinar, which is gonna take place on Monday the 10th of October at 12:00 PM. BST. I can't wait to see you there. Okay. Now let's get started on this week's episode.

Hello everyone. And welcome to the podcast today. I have an extra special guest for you. I have one of my past clients, Meera Patel on the podcast. So I'm gonna let her do an introduction and then we're gonna get started. So Meera, tell us all about you. Hi. Um, first of all, it was lovely to be on here. Um, and you know, I've missed you.

We haven't had sessions in a long time. Yeah, I've missed you too. So when did we finish our sessions? We finished our sessions over a year ago now. Right? Definitely over a year. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz my baby's turned two now, so yeah. Gosh, it's been a while. Yeah. Lovely. I'm so honored to have you on the podcast.

So tell us a little bit about yourself so that the listeners can kinda, find out a little bit, just get a bit of a context about you. Yeah. so I'm Meera, um, got so many hats on, uh, first as you, I'm a mom, two, um, two wonderful children. Uh, Kris is four turning five soon. Um, and tri who's just turned two.

I'm a part-time pharmacist. Mm-hmm And part-time small business owner. parttime, I would say like, we're still gonna be talking about that because that started at the beginning of our coaching kind of, well, at the end of our coaching relationship, right. What was the, main, result you wanted to achieve when you first heard about me and stuff, but, and tell the, tell the listeners like how you know me and like what, um, Urged you to seek coaching.

Okay. Um, so, and I go back, oh gosh, a long way back at college, we met. Um, and we've kinda kept in touch, not so much along the way. but I remember, I think we, we got in contact when we had our first borns. Um, and it was like, oh, we're both on maternity leave. Let's let's get together. and I know, like we used to talk a lot about, you know, the.

And gain and the struggles. And, um, honestly, what made me consider coaching is that picture that you posted, um, when you came like hundred times was like specifically, remember you, you were quite down about it and. Then to see you put this picture up. I was like, wow girl, you have done so well. And I was like, Sam Ru can do it.

I can do it. and yeah, like, initially I was a bit like. I dunno if I should, because we were friends and I thought, how would our coaching relationship be? Um, I always thought maybe it's better to go with someone who's neutral who doesn't know me as a person. So then their, advice would be slightly more, um, not biased, if that makes sense.

Um, But actually it worked out really well because you know, me as a person, you probably know the way my brain works better than even I do. So all like the advice and the coaching you were doing, like, it really did feel like it was tailored to me. So, yeah, like that, my, my main reason for getting coach was I had a bit of baby weight that I wanted to lose.

Um, seeing how amazing you're done. Just a short space of time. What always felt like a short space of time. Um, I was like, yeah, let's give this a go. Amazing. Cause I remember you were one of my first clients, if not the first client that I ever had. So it's such an honor to have you on like so fun.

I remember that you wanted to lose some baby weight and tell us about like your journey, your weight in the past, because it may be different to a lot of the listeners. So I just wanted to kind of highlight. Yeah. Um, so I was one of the really lucky ones who genetically , uh, was really slim. Um, I was, I think probably like size six, size eight, and.

Obviously I had my babies. Um, and I, so I think before babies, I was probably underage. I was about 45 kilos. and then after babies, I was hitting 60 mm-hmm , which for me was like, whoa, this is, um, I, I felt okay. Cause I knew, you know, like my body's just been through so much. It's not so much how I'm looking.

Um, I know that I canceled it out in the future, but, Because of the timing of your like, posts and everything. I was like, oh, well, why not now? Yeah. Um, so the aim I think, was to get it down. Um, so I think in the end, yeah, it started off at about 60 kilos. And then towards the end of it, I got down, I think it was 51.5.

I think, I believe that's the last thing. Um, the last like measurement I took, um, so that was really like, wow. Um, yeah, and we coached for three. We coached for 12 sessions. Wow. So yeah, that time you lost so much weight and more than the actual physical weight, tell us how it impacted your mind and your mental weight.

Um, so there's so many aspects to this because like how much mental baggage I was carrying that was stopping me from taking any action. Um, first of all, I had a very traumatic book, um, with Shia. And I think that for me was like, wow. Um, and. I like not to go into too much detail, but I had a hemorrhage when, um, I was seven months pregnant.

So it was almost like one day I'm fine. And I'm pregnant. And the next day baby's out and I'm not even, I'm literally knocked out. And, and then I had about five days in the hospital to recover by myself while, um, trail. Uh, being looked after in, um, the ICU, they wouldn't let outpatient to the, my husband into the hospital at all.

Um, so it was very much like, I was on my own, so I had to use a lot of like, mental, you know, like, come on, you can do this, I need to do this. I need to get out of this bed so I can go and see my daughter, you know, who I haven't even met yet. You know? Um, I was carrying a lot of that. Mental baggage. Um, and then having to leave her in the hospital every day, because of COVID we could only, see her for two hours a day.

So it was like, prior to COVID moms would be allowed to stay on the ward, um, overnight to be with the babies. And for me, it was like, oh my gosh, my, I remember specifically like pumping throughout the day. And then at three o'clock like rushing to the hospital with my milk bottles going here, go here's her milk, you know?

Um, so it was a lot of mental, like, having to just calm myself down. Um, I just realized I was carrying a lot of that in me and my shoulders, especially, you know, like, um, so having the coaching sessions, even I think maybe like we talked about weight loss, maybe 20% of the time, the rest of the time was just dealing with all these issues that I was having, like personal issues, all these traumatic events.

And, um, I just found that. The biggest value was, Looking at things in a different way. Um, and that's the biggest thing that you've taught me is there's so many ways you can look at a situation, but it's in your control to choose which way, which filter you're

thinking like on the lines. Wow. I'm so grateful that I'm here and I'm healthy and my daughter's healthy and we're together now. And, you know, come on, let's do this, let's lose the weight so I can get my body back in. Not, not just aesthetically, but energy wise, you know, um, let's do this and that's how you came in and really.

That's so interesting because a lot of people think I'm going into a weight loss program. So we are gonna be concentrating mainly on weight loss. Mm-hmm but this is the difference when you hire a life coach for weight loss, because you are not just focusing on weight loss, you are focusing on all the underlying issues that are leading you to overeat, right?

Absolutely. Because that's why we had to focus on. Clearing up your thoughts about the birth and, and kind of like the trauma that you experienced with regards to the birth, because then you wouldn't need to use food to make yourself feel better, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm absolutely. And I remember you saying that often you would just, when you were feeling this way, you would just get a takeaway.

You would just be like, oh, do you know what? I can't be bothered. I'm just gonna get a takeaway. Yeah. Who is those kinds of things? You weren't getting the takeaway because you just felt like it, you were getting the takeaway because you wanted to escape the emotions that you didn't want to feel at that time.

Right? Absolutely. So this is why dealing with all the other stuff is going to impact your food. Most people think, wait, hold on. But we're not talking about food. What, how is that gonna impact my weight? We only eat or over eat because we wanna push that away. Right? Those negative emotions. So tell us, how did it feel for you being coached by a life, life coach for weight loss?

It was really like funny because, you know, before, before the session started, we'd be having band 10. It'd be like, oh, I really remember this. And coaching's like, right. Maybe, how can I help you?

but I can definitely see, like, you know, you've got your like professional hat on and you're really, you know, let let's do this. Let's help you. It was really nice. Aw, definitely. But did I tell you what needed to be said? Because that was, that's the main thing about coaching, right? Because I sometimes have to say the hard thing.

So what was that like for you hearing it from a, from a friend? It was hard. It was, because I think I'm quite a sensitive person. Like, um, you know, I, I, I cry a lot. so, but like for you to be like, Come on, like, you know, let let's look at this in this way and really you need to kind of be doing it like this.

And like almost kind of shaking me going, you know what? You can do this. Even when I had my self doubts and there was times where I was like, am I really gonna be able to, and just the way you'd just come in and be like, you got this, you can do this. Um, It was, what was the original question? Sorry. that's OK.

It was kinda like, how did it feel being coached by a friend? Uh, well, yeah, by someone who was originally a friend, but also a coach, like what was that dynamic like? Yeah, no, it was a, it was great. I also knew that you genuinely wanted to help me as a friend, but also as a client. Um, and you really invested your time in me, you know, and that was nice.

It was. Oh, good. Okay. So other than we talked about kind of like the, birth, what other results did you get from the coaching? So the biggest thing for me, um, which is something I'm so like excited about. And so I remember we did all the weight loss staff, the personal issues, everything, and I think it was our last two sessions.

And you were like, right, what can I coach you on today? And I was like nothing. I was like, I'm happy. I've sort all my mind stuff out. I'm ready. You know, these sessions.

Let's let's talk about your career. And I was like, yeah, I'm fine. You know, like I just, you know, two days a week as a pharmacist and rest of, you know, the time is with the kids, like, you know, I, I don't think that would change. And you were like, well, what about business ideas? And I was like, oh, I did have a couple of cool ideas, but it's never gonna work.

And you were like, why? why? Right. It's just. Cause I just don't think, I just don't think people would buy into what my ideas are and you were like, I would, I, you know, um, and I was just like, OK, so you asked me to, tell you about these ideas and. This is where, I started me rebox. Mm. Um, so this was literally, I remember saying to you, one of my business ideas was, that this issue with that moms have when they plan parties for their kids, The two main things is like catering and party bags.

Because like I know at the time I was trying to plan a party and I was like, what kind of useful things can we get for these kids? And at the same time, because of COVID, everybody was doing like picnics in the park. Cause you couldn't, you know, do anything at home or you had to do the social distancing.

Um, so I remember thinking, wow, what if we combined the two? What if. We have a personalized box for each, child that comes to the party. Um, and inside is the food. Um, and then that's their gift. Like the box is a cute, safe box that they can take to, you know, take away. Um, and I remember just getting so excited about it.

I had that one call with you and I ran downstairs and I was like, I, oh my God, I'm onto something. I really wanna do. And he was like, okay. He was like, you do this a lot. He was like, you come up with something you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're gonna do it. And then you don't. And I was like, yeah, that's true.

I don't, um, But something about this felt different. And, but also we coached on that. Didn't we? Because that was one of your holding, like, I remember you mentioned it, I think maybe on our 10th session then mm-hmm by our 11th session, you were, you had some doubts, there was lots of doubts creeping in. So we had to coach on those because that would've like held you back.

Right. Because when you, when you've been doing it a certain way, all your life, that's what your brain knows, right? Like, oh, I get excited. And then I, and then. I don't do it. It's like, it's like diets. Right? You get really excited at the beginning of a diet. And then like three weeks in you're like, oh, okay.

I'm bored with this now. I don't wanna do it. It's too hard. Right? Yeah. So that's the specific thing we have to coach on. Right. Because. if that was the thing that was playing in your head, like, oh, I'm normally excited. And then I don't, that's the specific thing that, that came up, which was really cool. Cuz it happened in the coaching relationship, right?

Yeah, definitely. And one of the things that I really liked was um, every like negative thing that I said, or every doubt I had, you were straight away. Okay. What's worst case scenario. What was the worst thing that could happen? And I was like, Yeah, I might lose a little bit of money, but it's okay. Um, I can still do other things.

Um, it was okay. It, it, everything you just gave me the confidence or you brought out the confidence. Exactly. I can't give you confidence because confidence is created by your thinking, right? When you are feeling confident. But what's interesting is that when we go to that worst case scenario, often our brains haven't gone.

We like spin in the doubt, the confusion, the overwhelm, but actually when we go to, okay, what is the worst case scenario? Then our brain is able to be like, oh, hold on. I can deal with that. That's not the end of the world. Right? Yeah. So it's so much easier to, calm the brain down when we actually do that.

So far. Definitely. Yeah. Um, so then, yeah, like you literally coached me through all these doubts and literally I, I had no excuse not to do it. so I was like, let's, this crafting business, and while I was waiting for, um, some of the materials to arrive, I just started making, birthday cards and gift cards.

And then that boomed and I was. This is so weird. Like I'm not, I've never been in this place before. Like people actually want the stuff that I'm making. And, um, so now, like I'm at a point where. I think I'm ready hopefully to leave pharmacy soon. Right. I mean, at least it has side make pharmacy, the side job, um, and then do this full time.

Cause um, yeah, business is booming and um, like it's really exciting. So thank, thank you to you for actually believing in me and helping me to believe in myself. Um, you know, like I'd say that for anyone. Starting any new business ventures, like there's no harm in trying it. Yeah. Um, you know, like you made me feel.

I should be a yes girl, you know, like you should say yes to everything, just try everything . Um, but before I'd be like, no, no, no, I can't, you know, I shouldn't, I can't, what will society say? Or, you know, I can't do this, but you, yeah. Thank you, honestly. You're so welcome, Mary. It wasn't me. It was you. Right.

All I did was show you your brain and then you were able to. Like with coaching deal, with things that were holding you back, that you actually really, truly wanted to do. Yeah. I remember you saying to me, my ideal would be to be at home with the, with the kids as much as possible doing something that I'm so passionate about that I love so much.

Like I like pharmacy, but I don't know if I'd be willing to do that. For the rest of my life, like all the time as my main career, I wanted to do something else I really enjoy. And then you talked about this and we were like, yes, let's just go for it. Like, what is the worst that could happen when all of these doubts came up, then we worked through them.

That's the thing like, you probably didn't expect I'm gonna get business coaching in a weight loss program, right? Exactly. From what it started, it like, it just ticked so many boxes. It achieve. I achieved so many things. It was just, it was not just the weight loss. So, but you could only do the business when we worked on some of the personal things that were going on for you.

So tell me a little bit about like your journey in that. so I think, yeah, over the, like COVID especially was really hard, um, personal issues, like I said, the, the birth and all of that, like it just, I remembered how. Stagnant. I was in life because I'd spent so much time just kind of in my own thoughts and just not, there was no action, no, um, motivation, nothing.

It was like, well, this is how I'm feeling right now. And I just, I guess I need to give myself time to get over it. Um, but once, like I dealt with all those issues, I just felt like my mind actually had. To think about other things and like little things that would bother me before is not such a big deal.

Um, give an example. So like what kind of things used to bother you that aren't such a big deal now? Dishes . Yeah, I don't care so much about dishes now, but it's such a big, it's like trying to handle this, like mom life, you know, husband, relat husband, wife, relationship. There's so many hats that we, as women have to bear, not even have to like, but we have to, but you, I love we choose to, right.

We, yeah, we choose to, and I just love the, the way that you were. You changed? Everything I would say was, you know, oh, I need to do this and I need to do that. And you were like, do you want do it? And I was like, yeah, yeah. Clean so that you energy and the house is better. I feed kids. You. Um, but it was.

There was not so much of this, like mind chatter, you know, like debating and it was almost like you'd make a decision. It's like, yep. Okay, come, let's go do it. the planning helped like teaching how to plan your day and everything. Um, which I still think I need to work on a bit more. Um, The thing is, in terms of the coaching program, you get so much out of it, you learn so many of the tools, but then that's what you then carry on doing like ongoing.

Right. Um, and we all have a human brain. We're always gonna encounter things that we could always still work on. Like, I'm, that's the reason why I said to myself, I'm gonna have a coach for life because it's so. Useful to have someone else look at my brain and be like, oh, this is, this is what you was going on in your brain.

And I'm like, wait, what is it? I didn't even have any idea that I was thinking this, you know, I would say to myself, oh, I thought I worked on this and it's still coming up. Like it, everything may still be there in a little, there may be a tinge that there, but it doesn't have to be a problem.

You can just be able to look at it and be like, oh, okay. This is what's going on. This is what I'm choosing to interpret it, um, going forward kind of thing, right? Yeah, definitely. Okay. That is so cool. What I wanted to ask about is what are the kinds of thoughts that you had about being, an Indian woman in our culture that we, we worked on,

this whole. What will society say? What will society think? Um, even little things about if I gave up pharmacy, for example, what would everyone think? Oh, you know, she studied like five years at uni, you know, like, and she's giving it up to do what wedding papers . But for me, it's. I'm super grateful. I did, uh, you know, especially to my parents, um, for, you know, encouraging me, um, getting me through uni and, you know, but it's like, it's okay.

It's okay to do something that you want and take your life somewhere. You wanna go without thinking about what, oh my God, what society gonna thinking? it's just, yeah, it's just, you don't have that. Feeling of judgment when you take control and you're like, it's fine. You know, people might say things.

But it'll be old news, you know? Yeah. So we worked a lot on people pleasing didn't we about like, oh, that, yeah. Yeah. So like other people may think this of me, but it doesn't matter what they think of me if this is what I think of me. Because when you were confident in your own abilities, we had to work on all the doubt and stuff.

But when you were confident in your own abilities and, and actually like allowed yourself to follow your true desire, like what you really wanted. That's when it didn't matter what, what society thought as much. There was still a bit of that, but just not as much because it was like, it's okay. They'll talk about me for a bit.

That's where we went to the worst case scenario. Right? They'll talk about me for a bit and then it'll be on news, right? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Also, sorry, go on. What were you saying? The biggest thing was the fact that, oh my God, you can actually have a meal. Like shark and roughly, and not have the roly like, when I said to my mom, right mom, I'm giving up Rock's or chap parties.

She was like, no, you've been having them, you know, like, you'd have like five every day with your meal. Like, how can you have without it? And it was like, Oh, it's actually okay. it's not too bad. It's so interesting. Isn't it like when you actually allow yourself to try it, then it's just so, it's so like amazing how malleable our brain can be and how, how malleable our taste buds can be as well.

Right? Yeah. And to be clear, this doesn't mean that you can't have roughly ever it's just while you're becoming fat adapted to kind of like allow your, your body to. Pay attention to your hunger signals. And so after kind of like, I normally say to give up sugar and flour for about two months, and then you can decide whether you want to bring it back.

A lot of my clients do bring it back. Some of them don't. Um, so you get to decide, but just the, the fact that it's, you can actually go without it and be okay. And not like your brain may say, oh my gosh, I'm gonna die. Like, I haven't had it what's going on, but actually you can survive. It's so fun. Right?

Especially when like cooking for the kids. It's like, sometimes I feel bad. Like if I don't make Rockies, I'm like, oh, you can just have rice with this today. And then, but sometimes I'll be, oh, but I know they like it. And, but then it's like, no, no, it's fine. I can't manage, I haven't got the time to make it today.

They're not gonna go hungry. If they have the, you know, the Curry with the rice, it it's okay to not make rust. And I'm like, I feel better. Yeah. So I guess the, the main thing was. Allowing yourself to like, realize what your limitations are and being okay with that. Instead of beating yourself down with a, with your own, like with a stick,

why would it ask is, I had so all these questions, but we've kind of completely gone off the thing, which, which I love, because we could just chat about whatever we, whatever came up. Yeah. Another thing that I, I, I remember, um, we worked on was overwhelmed with so many things going on. So tell me about that.

Like time management, we talked about, tell me about how that helped you. time management is I have to admit still something that I am struggling with today and snap. I still do, even though I get coached on this multiple times a week, it's completely fine. it's um, and then like, part of me is like, oh, if I didn't take on this me box, I would actually have so much time to do everything that I want to do.

So you always have that mind battle going on. Yeah. Um, Yeah. There was times where I was like, I just can't handle this. I can't manage this. I'm gonna fail because I'm, I just can't do it. Mm. Uh, and that's where, you know, you'd come in and you'd give me all the tools, um, journaling, just planning my day. Um, Even if it was like, I, I like the whole planning 24 hours in advance because that took a lot of the, you know, oh my God, what am I gonna feed my family for seven days?

Cause we generally used to do things on a weekly basis. So this was literally 20 hours is that's all I have to think about is the next 20 hours how I'm gonna use the time. Yeah. Um, I think where I'm struggling is cause I had the newborn at the time. Um, and even now my kids are still really little there's no.

Routine, there's a routine, a loose routine, but things can change, you know, minute by minute, depending on how my toddler is feeling . Yes. Oh my God. I, I totally know what you mean yesterday. I dropped very, to cricket camp and, um, I got a call like literally we were just driving back. I got a call saying, this is Chowdry your little one.

Um, doesn't want to, um, stay at cricket camp. He's saying mommy, mommy, mommy, mummy. He wants mommy. I was like, oh gosh, I've got a full day off work plan. What am I gonna do? So I had to like talk to him on the phone for like a good 10 minutes. Like just being like it's okay. VI. Don't worry, like, so I get it.

Like, it can be like very and down with toddlers, right. Because they have a mind of their own and that's OK. But also we can learn how to plan in a way that accommodates for that. So it's like for if example, for example, something happens or whatever, how are you gonna talk to yourself when you haven't done what's on your plan?

Are you gonna be like, oh, you didn't do it again? Or are you gonna be like, of course, like my priority is my family, my kids. And I choose to like, go off my plan today and I'll get that done tomorrow. That's not like you're excusing yourself. That's like you having grace and being okay with yourself and acknowledging that some things will get done.

Some things won't and that's completely fine. It doesn't mean I'm gonna use it to beat myself. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I've never been the kind person who would like make a task list and then like absolutely have to, I'd be, I'd be really happy thing that was, yeah, it was definitely learned a lot. Yeah.

The overwhelming side. So I remember like going back to food now, because I know a lot of people are interested in the food. explain like how it was for you in terms of like, cuz I know you were breastfeeding at the time you were vegetarian. So what was it like with food planning and stuff like, just so people can hear it from your point of view.

Cause I always talk about it, but it's nice to hear it from the client's point of view. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so I remember in the first session where, you were like, so Mary, oh, you me,

I, my

you're gonna have to give up. Flower and sugar from your diet. And I was like, are you crazy? I was like, no, I'm not doing it. I'm sorry, I I'm gonna, you know, cancel this right now. um, and then you were like, OK, let's uh, look at it in a different way. Um, you're like you have three meals a day. That's 21 meals in the week.

Are you willing to give up flour for at least one of those meals? And I'll say, oh yeah, yeah, that's fine. Yeah. That's that's mine. I can do that. so that literally was the biggest lesson initially on like how we just attached so much feelings to things. cuz the thought of not having toast. In the morning was just like, oh my God, how am I gonna survive?

But also what I wanted to like make clear is you had sugar and flour that whole time. I remember you having toast that whole time. Right. I had toast the whole time because, and you still lost how much 10 kilos or something? Yeah. You taught me how to, like, if I was gonna have the test in the morning, then the other meal of the day, I like you gave me the tools to train my brain.

To try and at least make it no flour or no sugar meal. Um, and then that's where I discovered having like Indian food without chapati, without NA you know, and I really enjoyed the food I could, really, you know, really taste the food without like diluting it a, you know, if that makes that's totally makes sense.

Yeah. So, That was the first. Yeah, my first biggest lesson was don't add so much drama over the food. You shouldn't. Living to eat. You should be eating to live kind. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. yeah. So, um, once you take all that mind's drama away. It was quite easy to plan the food. Yeah. Um, and then yeah, I started actually eating better, much better.

I was eating more salads, lentils, vegetables, rice. Um, the takeaways definitely decreased. Oh, No, that's not correct. I still used to have the takeaway, but yeah, it was like, it was okay to eat pane. It was to, to eat, but you know, like I did listen to when I felt full. So I was still eating. Not once. Did I feel deprived or, oh my God, I'm so hungry.

Like I'm gonna die. it was just allocating. Different calories. not even calories, calories. Yeah. We don't even talk about calories, but it's just like about calories. It's just about understanding. Okay. I've eaten, eaten these kinds of foods here. Do I have to have all the sugar and flour because that's actually not helping my body as much.

It's not adding much nutrition to my body. How can I fuel my body in a way that's gonna actually help me? Right. That's actually gonna, fuel. The parts of my body that I actually want to feel. Right. Mm-hmm yeah. Um, and as you said, yeah, you still had, takeaways throughout, you still like had sugar and flour throughout, but it was just in a much more mindful way, right?

Yeah. You were just like, okay. Do I, I, I don't wanna give it up fully and that's completely fine. So many of my clients say, I don't wanna give it up fully. That's completely fine, but just how can I, like when I am having. Have it in a way where I don't need to have all the sugar and all the flour and all the takeaways all in one go mm-hmm

How can I think about, what do I really want here? I remember we talked about what the things you love the most that you don't want to give up. And I think you said, there was some, uh, forest sun wasn't it? So I don't know some, several, yeah, I think it was ch so for, for my, um, people who dunno what that is, that's um, this savory, mix, um, That often karate people make, and it's kind of like fried and it has lots of mixed, um, like potato and, and, peanuts and loads of things in, and is delicious.

and Meera said, I don't want to give that up. And so what did we do? Like how did we go about that? So we made, that was really interesting. I remember said to you every morning, I have toast with a slice of dairy in it, like a toasted dairy sandwich, some and some tea. And I remember saying to you, I just, I really I'd get really upset if I had to give that.

And then you like, oh, this is interesting. Let go deeper. Like, where does this come from? And then we were talking and I like, and. We hit the nail on the head. Why I really enjoyed that for breakfast is because when I, before I got married and I used to live at home, it's the meal that my dad and mom would make me for breakfast.

So, you know, like I would get showered, get ready, I'd come down and breakfast would be ready. And this, this is what I'd have. And I. For me, it was more about, oh, this is what my dad used to make me. I don't wanna forget this. Like, no I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna continue eating it. And then for, um, I remember that coaching session the next day, I actually had porridge.

And I remember sending you a picture of it going, oh my God, you're not gonna believe this, but I need encourage this morning. um, because I was like, oh, I don't need to have the toasted dairy in the today. Um, I can plan it because you, when you attach the food to a memory, then what you are doing is you think I need to keep eating the food to.

That memory alive, but what we coached on is that memory's already there. It's always gonna be there. You can just remind your brain of that, but you don't need to eat the food to like trigger the memory, right? Yeah, exactly. And so then when you realized that you were like, oh yeah, I could just think about that.

And the love that my mom and dad, like, you know, gave to me every time when they had the meal. Ready? Yeah. I could just remember that love even without the food, without the food. Yeah, right. So that was really . That is so cool. I love that. So what was it that you were nervous about before you started coaching?

I Don wouldn't say I was nervous. Um, cause I love, I do love trying new things just to see what happens. maybe part of me was like, yeah, I'm gonna try it probably won't work. But at least I tried, you know, solid. Yeah. And I remember you saying as well. That out thinks, you know, that I always tried things and then I don't follow through with them.

So this may be one of those things. Yeah. How did you feel of that then? After we coached? So

thinking about the weight loss. It was kind of just happening. It's like all, like my focus was on something completely different now. I'm still having the same thought patterns. I'm gonna prove wrong, make card and sell it. That would be like my out. I know I said I was gonna do and never do. I.

Yeah, like toward the end of it, looking back, oh, I just felt so free at the end. You know, it was like not none of this mind drama anymore, and I can just take the tools I've learned. and I know that Rudy's always gonna be there and, you know, if I ever wanted to start the sessions up again, you know, I, I would at the drop of a hat, you know, even like the money side, Oh, my God.

When you think about all the new things I've tried and spent money on, I was like, let's just do it, just do it. Yeah. And so a lot of people think coaching is expensive. what would you say to them? Um, it is, it is expensive, but for me it was, such a brilliant expense because of what I got out of it.

It was almost like my life just changed. everything that I was carrying along the way, I was able to sort out and start this new business, really trying to use the tools that you've learn with my children. So, so I know it can be expensive. It for me, it was totally worth it. Yeah. And like I said, I would do it again if I needed to completely.

And so I think the thing is. We often, spend money on things that we value. But as south Asian women, we often don't get taught to value ourselves. It's often that I should be doing this for other people. When I am with other people, I should be helping out. And it's often at the expense of our own selves.

So. Part of the problem is that we don't value ourselves enough that we we've got so many hats. And we think that we need to do X, Y, and Z to be worthy, but in coaching, that's where we, where we get to realize we are a hundred percent worthy. Exactly how we are. We don't need to change. We don't need to do all these things to be worthy and.

When you just have that spark of possibility that oh yeah. Okay. I, I would like to do something like this then it's about like, going to that future you, that future self and making a decision from there because when you make a decision from your past self, then you're always gonna be repeating what you've always done.

Right. You're always gonna be Saying no, no, no, no, no. It's okay. Let me put my kids first or my in-laws first or my partner first or whatever it may be. Yeah. But when you actually decide it's okay to put me somewhere on that list, it doesn't even have to be first. It can just be somewhere on the list.

Yeah. Then that's when you model that to your own children, to your, and like you keep building up that relationship with yourself cuz that's what everything else is based on. Right? Absolutely. Yeah. OK. So. if you were to kind of summarize in like three words, your most, unexpected benefits from coaching, what would you say those three words are and why?

Say, well, peace of mind is three words. Yeah. That's the first one. Yeah. OK. This piece of it's just peace to, to really think about things. not in the like constant debating way. Not, not, it's just, that was definitely, something that really stood out. Confidence for me, it just really opened me up to so much.

Like I I'm sure you remember what I used to be like in, in college. I was actually really shy. I couldn't talk to many people unless like, I got to know you on like a one to one level and that's been with me throughout my life. and I think after kids, it got a little bit better. Then I had nothing to hide behind cause like you just, you're a mom, I'm a mom now I have to, after my kids and this is me now there's nothing to hide behind if that makes sense.

I dunno. It was just having the confidence to be like, yeah, this is me. I know what I need to do now. And I'm just gonna go and do it. and. Thirdly, I would say, can we just stick with that one for a bit? How has, coaching affected your parenting? I, well, I am struggling at the moment. especially cuz the toddler tantrums are starting, we just did our first holiday away, um, with both of them, which was very interesting.

Yeah. Yeah. but, and it took a lot of mind coaching. Yeah. Um, like, you know what. The problem is that we are expecting our holidays to be like how they used to be before. Yes. And looking at it from our point of view, when we should be thinking, how are the children viewing this? Like, this is a whole new environment.

Obviously show is going to be so like excited, overwhelmed. There's a lot of sensory overload going on. you know, at the time I felt. We were shouting at her a lot because we were just, oh, again, you know, what will other people think? Like you're in a restaurant with your kids and you know, she's going off on one and I'm like, oh my God.

So sorry, everyone, you know? Um, But it's, it's about like, like really coaching yourself to think, no, the children come first. Like everyone's probably already gone through this and actually a lot of the, young families that were there, even the older ones that were like, don't worry, love, we've all been through this.

We all know what you're going through. It's fine. It just seems loud because Trey's right here. yeah, it's gonna be here, but to everyone else, like it's just becomes background noise and there's a lot of like, okay, come on. You know, Let's think about what she's going through at the moment. Um, and isn't that so fun because you have 12 sessions of coaching, 12 sessions, right.

And it's already, like, there's always gonna be things that you're gonna continue working on always. Right? How many times you get coached? There's never a, like an end point that we are now we have now arrived, but our brain sometimes tell us that isn't it like, oh, we will arrive when we have done X, Y, and Z.

But then when, then the goal post just keeps moving of like, now I want to go for this one. So I guess it's just like being like in the moment and being like it's okay. Like they're, they're, they're the words that I love most in coaching it's okay. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. It, it is, there is what it is. Cuz whenever we're fighting against reality where we're gonna lose a hundred percent of the time.

Whereas when we accept, okay, this is what it is right now. How do I want, how do I choose to think about. It changes everything. Right? Because then yeah, we can think about it from the, from the other person's point of view, be it the child or your partner or your mother-in-law, whatever it may be, then you can just be like, listen, I'm not like changing myself.

The only reason I'm changing the way I'm thinking is because I want to feel differently. I don't want to feel. Irritated or shouting the whole time. Yeah. And that doesn't mean you're gonna be perfect that day yesterday. I had a shouting day at my kids and I do this work all the time. Like it's OK. But it doesn't mean we're, we're aiming for perfection.

It just means we're gonna keep working on becoming that person we wanna become. Right. Yeah, and it's definitely, um, helping and, oh my God, all your posts about little Veeray, and you know, everything you're going through with the boys, like it's really helpful because, it makes me think, yeah, no, this, this is exactly how I should be talking to the children.

even that thing, um, you posted about the dog that you met this dog. I was exactly the same last weekend. Um, one of our friends actually brought their humongous ridgeback over and before they got here, I was very much like, look, I've been around dogs, but I've never like stroked them.

Like you, I would walk across the, um, road. And, but I was like, you know, what's the worst that can happen. Like. Well, I mean, obviously we know what the worst is , but this dog has never Biten anyone. it's a family dog. Um, who's actually really gentle. Um, and like, he was actually chilling on my sofa and I actually stroked him and everything.

And I was like, wow, this is progress all because I decided. I was gonna give it a chance, you know, I could have like done the whole, no, no, no. If the dog comes, it's gonna go into the garden. It's not coming into the house. and, but it's just so much, you feel so much more free when you don't have that fear inside all the time.

And it's that fear. I think I've had like my whole life, like, just naturally because of society and, you know, Fear and anxiety has always been there with me, but like just saying to your brain, exactly what you said, it's okay. Everything's gonna be fine. What is the worst case scenario? Um, it just really helps to calm you down and just look at things from a very fresh perspective.

Yeah. I love that so much. Now. I know I interrupted you before your third one, but do you have a third one? But if you don't.

Oh, I dunno. I can't think of anything right now. That's fine. I think for me, the word that came up is acceptance. Hmm. Yeah. Like accepting like, like a lot of what our coaching sessions were, were accepting. What is, and just being okay with this is just the reality it's okay. Like, so just that love, acceptance, compassion, those kind of like that kind of genre of words for me.

Um, with our coaching sessions, it was just kind of like it's okay. Like everything is gonna be fine as you just said. So that would be my third word. If we had to kind of come up with it together. I love that. Thank you. So that is so fun. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. I know you mentioned MI if anyone wanted to order, how did they get in touch with.

so right now it's just through Instagram. I have considered, um, getting onto et, but right now, um, I just, at the moment with the orders coming in, it's just a bit easier for me to manage on Instagram. Um, so yeah. just find me on there. Um, drop me a message. What is your Instagram handle? So it's MeerieBox

Okay, awesome. So I'll add that into the show notes of the podcast. And, thank you so much for coming on Meerie It's been such an honor to coach you. You are one of my first clients and I hold all of my clients really dear in my heart. And I love that you are still getting all the support through the podcast, through the emails and things, because you know, like you may have the coaching and you, and then it may be enough to just carry on with the podcast or the emails and stuff.

And. As you know, you are amazing exactly how you are. You don't need to change at all. You are so awesome. And I love you very daily. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. I love you too. thank you. Bye.