How to start paying attention to your brain
Jun 21, 2022Hello ladies, and welcome to the podcast. I just wanted to let you know that I printed out the amazing mind and body food planner, and let me just say, having it printed out and actually using it after spending over a hundred hours, creating it, editing it, checking to see if the questions are relevant.
So I basically spent, yeah, so much time analysing what my clients struggle with and what are the common themes that they tend to struggle with with their food planning and the mind management piece with their hunger, with their urges, and how could I create a planner that would make it so much easier for them?
So basically I really broke down what are the things that they struggle with? How do I do my food planning so easily and not have that be a big deal? How could I ask questions in the planner that would really help with looking at, okay, what is the actual issue here? How can we really understand what is going on?
So I created the planner to have journal prompts so that in the journal pages, if they didn't know what was going on, they could actually ask themselves a quick question and write about it. I created the dive deeper worksheets so that when they did have an overeat, they could go to the back of the planner and actually find out the reasons why, find out their trends, find out what was actually going on for me.
And how can I learn from this experience so that every overeating experience is not the normal thing that they have experienced. Right? Normally they will beat themselves up and shame themselves and things like that. But I created the planner in such a way that if they had an overeat, it wasn't the same.
Okay, let me shame myself. It was okay, how can I learn from this? Because this over-eat happened perfectly for me because it was there to teach me something. So it was so cool to actually see and start using this amazing planner. I was like, oh my goodness. I am so proud of the hours and hours and hours of putting in the effort, really analysing my people and combining it all together.
I was just like, oh my goodness, this is so cool. So yesterday I did my 90 day plans. I did my monthly plans and my weekly plans and I realised the rest of the day went so much better. I was so much more in control of my mind. I was so much more calm and it made me realise that even as a coach, the benefit of writing down your goals, writing, like what obstacles are going to come up and how am I actually going to solve for them?
That was just so invaluable to me. So I just wanted to let you know how much I'm enjoying this mind and body food planner. And it's just so, so fun to be able to use the plan myself as well. Right. And get the benefits from this amazing planet that I've created for my clients. So if you're thinking, oh my gosh, how do I get this planner?
This sounds so amazing. Then you can join my social media and you can see this amazing, little reel that I've created so you can kind of have a look and see what it actually is like, printed out and get a feel for it. So if you're not following me on social media, then make sure you do my Instagram handle is @amruti.coaching.
And my Facebook, if you'd like to add me on Facebook, I'd be very happy to connect with you on Facebook as well. And if you're thinking, do you know what I really actually want to get a copy of this planner? Then I would, if I was you get on the wait list for the August group coaching program. So the way to do that is to go to my website, www.amruticoaching.com/group.
And if you're thinking, oh, I really wanted to join this May group, but I wasn't quite ready, what I would do is make a decision, right? If there's something that resonates with you and your thinking, do you know what I really want to do in the next group, then make that decision and sell yourself on it up until we start the group and make all the arrangements that you need to make to come up with the time, the money, the energy, like whatever is holding you back.
I would start looking at those things now so that when we start in August, you are completely ready. You are completely sold and you are completely ready to do that. Now, if you're thinking, okay, I really want to make this happen. Then you have all the details on, that page where you can be added to the wait list.
So just have a read, see what other questions come up and I'll be opening up enrollment by doing a challenge in July. And during the challenge, we'll be able to book consults as well with me. So write down any questions that come up. Write down anything you're not clear about and you can actually take part in the challenge in July, and you can jump on a concert with me to see if this is the right thing for you.
If you're thinking, no, no, no, I need it right now. I need to deal with this food issue right now, then message me. I have five one-to-one slots available and we can see if that's a good fit for you. So. Bearing all of that in mind. I just noticed that I'm like so much more creative because of managing my mind better.
And I think that the planner is really actually helping me with this. So. Getting ideas from things that I never even thought would have been something that I could coach you on. And so I just wanted to highlight the importance of just starting to know what you're thinking. So that's what this episode is about, really.
And it's about how to start paying attention to your brain and learn which part of your brain is talking. So. I just wanted to start off with a story because this is how this idea came into my brain. So this morning I was dropping Veeray to school and normally we try and just have a normal conversation.
And I just listen to what he has to say. And, you know, we just have a normal chat and today he said to me, "mommy, can daddy please pick me up in your car, please, mommy. Please tell daddy to pick me up in your car. I don't want to ever go in daddy's car." Now to put this into context Veeray's four, and I often talk about his tantrums on the podcast.
And I just realised, like, in that moment it struck me that he was speaking fully from his primitive brain, that part of his brain that wants him to seek pleasure, avoid pain and stay how he is. that part of his brain that's ensuring his survival. And I realised that he wasn't speaking from his prefrontal cortex because that part of his brain hasn't developed yet humans fully developed their prefrontal cortex in their mid twenties.
So, you know how sometimes if you have children, you may be able to relate, when we get angry at our children because they're not listening or they're not understanding what, where we're coming from. That's only because their prefrontal cortex is starting to develop, but it's not fully developed until their mid-twenties.
So us expecting them to think how we think is just never going to work. Right. So it reminded me of all the features of the primitive brain. So the all or nothing, the pleading to seek pleasure. And I noticed it in his response. I never want to go into his is. And it all came out of nothing. Like I was asking him, why is that?
He's just like, "just because" mummy. So that is another feature of the primitive brain. It doesn't often have good reason. It may be just because it may be because I don't want to, it may be just because of the decision that I've made. So I wouldn't YouTube When are you coming up with these kinds of reasoning in your weight loss journey?
Where does it feel dramatic for you? So you may notice that you may be saying things like
"I'll never be able to lose weight", and that may be after just like one thing. You may be starting a, new food protocol and thinking "I've tried it for two weeks and it's just not working. I'll never be able to lose weight". Which part of your brain is talking there? You believe it in the moment because it's something that your brain offers.
But it's that primitive part of your brain that wants you to seek pleasure of weed pain and stay how you are. It thinks going through any discomfort is bad. So it's always going to, have this kind of all or nothing thinking I'll never be able to lose weight. It's just too hard for me. How often have you thought it's much harder for me than other people?
That is your primitive brain talking because it thinks that when you just stay, how you are being in this dramatic thinking, then it keeps you safe because then you don't take any action to change it. How often do you start a diet and think this is just too restrictive for me. I can't keep this up for the rest of it.
That's because your primitive brain is not wanting you to go through any of the discomfort. It takes to change a habit. You've been doing it a certain way all of your life. So of course, it's going to be a bit of discomfort that comes up. How often have you said I can't possibly say no to them. I want you to ask, is that really true?
Which part of my brain is talking it's the all or nothing bit of the primitive brain. Right? Another thing that I noticed in that conversation with very was the pleading, please, mommy, please. And it basically to him, it felt like if he didn't get it, then he would be unsafe. And so I found that really interesting because that's how our brain talks to us.
So often just a little bit, it's only once. So when you notice that your brain is trying to plead with you, just be on to your brain and be like, oh, this is probably primitive brain talking. It's only this once that you're going to, have this dessert at this restaurant suddenly a little bit.
I don't get this very often. So let me just have it. Now, when your brain is pleading with you just be on to your brain, that it's most likely your primitive brain. That's talking to you. Another feature that I noticed was that the bird brain likes to delay any discomfort or avoid it altogether. But sometimes it knows that if you say, oh, just forget.
your prefrontal cortex may kick in and be like, hold on. let's just kind of understand what's going on here and your primitive brain doesn't want that. So it sneakily may just delay the discomfort. So it may offer you thoughts. Like I'll do it tomorrow and you may actually believe that in the moment.
Right. You may actually think, yeah, I'll do it tomorrow. But then tomorrow comes and you have that same thought again. Oh, I'll do it tomorrow. And when you're in that mind space, then it's your primitive brain talking to you, wanting you to delay that discomfort, wanting you to not feel that discomfort in the moment, because remember it wants to seek pleasure, avoid pain and stay how you are.
Right. It thinks that when I do it tomorrow, I'm not going to get any discomfort. I get to stay how I am, and it's very pleasurable to eat the food. Right. So it's going to keep doing. But that's when you get to ask yourself, look, is this something that I really want? So the first way to start finding out which part of your brain is talking is to actually start listening to your brain, to actually start listening to what is my brain actually offering.
I often talk about being an observer of your brain, but how can you actually do that? One of the ways is doing a thought down. So actually writing down the contents of your brain, writing down, what is actually going on in there? Now, a lot of my clients, they lose a lot of weight, but they're still not doing thought downloads.
And one of my clients actually said to me, Oh, my goodness. You keep talking about thought downloads and I've already lost 15 kilos working with you in less than six months. But I started doing the thought download and I realized how much my brain was offering me all of this negative thinking because this particular client she would stick to a protocol and then the majority of the time, and then she would give in one day a week and it wasn't a planned, eating off protocol.
It was, oh, do you know what? Let me just have the Domino's. So I questioned her about it. I was like, listen, you can plan for the Domino's pizza. what stops you from planning it? And she was like, oh, I just never even thought that. I would need to escape my mind and, you know, yeah. Think, oh, do you know what?
Let me just eat it. That's, it's easier to do that. And I was like, yeah, it's because you're not paying attention to what your brain is offering you throughout the week. And you're just kind of like plowing through plowing through. And so then of course your brain needs an escape. And that is what she did right now.
Don't get me wrong. She still lost 15 kilos while it's working with me. But only recently she has started doing a thought download and she realized so much of what she is thinking shows up in her result line. And the only way to deal with that is to know what's actually in her brain. Right. So. If you're thinking, do you know what?
I'm not really doing thought downloads. I'm not really planning my food. It's okay. You will still lose a lot of weight, but just doing one of the things. But I offer you all of these tools because everyone's minds operate differently. So you pick the tool that works for you, right? So the way to actually start becoming aware of your brain is to start writing it down, start listening to the thoughts that your brain.
What way to kind of bring up, like, if you're thinking, do you know what I thought downloads aren't for me one way to bring up the thoughts that are always there, but you, you haven't noticed is to do something different to what you normally do, because remember your brain wants to stay the same.
Right. It thinks that staying the same will ensure your survival. So one way to do that is to interrupt what you normally do. So for example, if you. Normally feel stressed and want to have a glass of wine after you put the kids to bed. It may be saying to your brain, no brain, we're going to wait 10 minutes.
That's when all those thoughts will come up, wait, what? We normally have this what's going on? There's something wrong. No, no, you need to have it. If you don't have it, then you're not gonna feel calm. Like all of the thoughts will come up. So that's when you start noticing, ah, this is what I'm thinking.
So no wonder I am needing some relief from all of this thinking that's there. And the thing is when you realize what thinking is there, that's when you can start dealing with it, right? That's when you can start thinking, oh, of course I'm thinking this right. I've been thinking. But a lot of us are scared to find out what we're thinking, because firstly, we think, oh gosh, that's a waste of time.
I just need to eat right and exercise. Right. Because that's what we've been thinking for decades of our life. And that may have actually worked in the past. But the reason you're listening to this podcast is it doesn't continue working for you. Right. So when you start noticing the thoughts, I want you to then ask yourself, are you actually believing.
remember, it's your thinking that creates your results, right? So if you're believing them and you're taking action from that feeling that is created, when you're, believing them, this is why your results are what they are. So say, you're thinking I need to have a drink to feel better.
You feel deprived when you say no to. When you feel deprived, then you end up over-drinking so you end up maybe restricting yourself restricting, and then overdrinking and just being like, do you know what? This is too hard. Let me just eat and let me just drink. And so then you end up creating that situation of you making it harder for yourself.
You relying on the drink to offer you that, release and what you carry on doing just strengthens. Right? So what thoughts you're thinking, just carry on getting straight. So the only way to break that apart is to do something that will challenge that thinking that's creating those results for you.
Right? So ask yourself, are you actually believing them? What results are you creating in your life right now that you don't actually want? What could be the thought that was creating this? So start, maybe writing out those, what was I thinking, feeling and doing to create this result, So the first step was finding out what your brain is offering, then asking yourself, am I actually believing this? What result is being created from this? The third thing is too, when your brain asks all of these questions, then answer to the, thought or the question that your brain is offering.
So when you're deciding which part of your brain is talking and you can. And then you can offer a slightly different perspective. So this may show up as when your brain says, oh, you know, you're going to miss out. If you, don't have it, you may just say it's okay, brain. I know you think that we're going to miss out, but remember, we're turning into a person who only eats when we're hungry and actually I'm not really hungry right now, so it's okay.
We can plan it for tomorrow if we really want to. But right now we are learning how to stick to our plan. So when you are kind of just like talking back to, that, very primitive thought that you're having, then you get to kind of think, okay, how can I question it? Well, how can I respond back to it from my prefrontal cortex, from that higher part of my brain, from that part of my brain who is able to feel the discomfort in the moment for the longterm.
Good. How can I start doing that? It's talking back to that brain. Offering a slightly different perspective that feels slightly better because remember, it's your thinking that creates your results. So when you're thinking of a thought that feels slightly better to the one that you're currently thinking, you're going to feel slightly better.
Then you're going to take actions that are slightly better, and then your results are going to be slightly better. And don't underestimate how important that. You don't need to go from, I hate my body to, I love my body. You may just make a slight shift because these slight shifts compound, and then you're going to get results much faster and much quicker because when you learn the skill of managing your mind, it affects all areas of your life.
Right? So I'll give you an example because I know a lot of you, have. That when you give examples, it really hits home. And it's really useful for me. So I'll give you example just yesterday. My brain offered me the urge to eat another bar of dark chocolate. So I had dark chocolate on my plan most days, because I really like it.
It works for my body and, you know, I really enjoy eating it. so that's another thing a lot of you think, oh, I have to be so restrictive. Right. And I can't put foods that I actually enjoy. You can, you can lose weight, eating foods that you actually enjoy, but once you learn the principles of look, I want to actually realize what does this food feel like in my body?
do I feel good after eating it? Do I not? Like you get to actually like do that in the group coaching program. So if that's something you want, you're interested in, then make sure you go and sign up for the wait list. So just yesterday my brain offered an urge to eat another bar of doctrine.
It said you're working on this important task. It will give you all the energy. So I just noticed it that I was like, oh, look, there's my brain offering me that thought again. I accepted it being there and I didn't resist against it. I didn't be like, oh, why does this thought keep coming up? I was just like, look, this is my prayer to brand offering me this thought.
Then I questioned it. And I was like, wait, hold on brain. I know you think that eating the chocolate will give me more energy. But remember when we ate the second bar of chocolate and actually we felt more tired because we were putting more, food into our body than our body needed. and it was sending all the blood to actually my intestines rather than to my brain.
Remember how much energy we actually have when we eat too enough. We have more energy then. So brain remember we will be able to eat the chocolate. But now we're a person who eats only when we're hungry and stop saying enough. So I hope that helps you to start responding back to your brain to start noticing, hold on.
I might having this all or nothing thinking in my, weight loss journey and my thinking, I'll never be able to lose weight. I might telling myself that this is just too hard for me. I might creating all of that drama in my brain because of the thoughts that I'm thinking that is coming from your primitive brain, ask yourself, am I pleading with myself and say, oh, it's only a little bit.
And like, justifying. Are you then saying to yourself, well, we'll do it tomorrow. Let me delay the discomfort. All of those thoughts are coming from the primitive brain. It wants you to seek pleasure of weed pain and stay how you are. It's always going to offer you these thoughts. So only way to feel better is to decide whether you want to believe them or not.
And if you don't want to believe them, then what are you going to think instead? That feels slightly better. So remember you can just notice it except that it's there, then respond back to it and choose a slightly different perspective. I hope this is useful for you. Make sure you go to. Add your name onto the wait list, because when you add your name to the weightless for the August group coaching program, then you will be able to get early access to, all of the information about the August group coaching program.
And if you're thinking, no, actually I really want one-to-one coaching then message me. You can message me at [email protected] and we can arrange a consult.
All right. I look forward to hearing from you. Take care, bye!