How to change a habit
Jul 05, 2022
Hello ladies and welcome to the podcast. So this week has been absolutely amazing for me. I have actually done one of the tasks on my mommy bucket list, and it was going on a school trip with my little man. So we went to Buckingham palace and watched the changing of the guards. And it was just so nice to be able to go on a school trip with him.
It was something that I wasn't able to do whilst I was a doctor. And also whilst I was a coach earlier on in my career, I would often overwork and not give myself the grace of doing that. And I realised that actually, my clients want a coach who is practicing what she preaches. And I often talk to them about taking some time out for yourself.
It being okay to do what you actually truly desire and really being aware of people, pleasing other people. And I realised that this was definitely something that I wasn't allowing myself to do, which was rest because I was thinking. What would other people think that I needed to be working and things like that.
So I was really kind to myself and allowed myself to go on this school trip. And it was just an absolutely amazing experience. And I realised that when I was able to take that time out for myself and really like fill up my own bucket, I was able to coach on a much higher level in all of my group coaching calls the next day.
So I was so proud to have been able to do that. And it was just so nice watching my little Vivaan play in his own environment with his friends and just, he was just beaming with pride because, you know, he was like, oh, all my friends were really surprised that you, you were coming mum because you'd never come before.
But just him, like, you know, showing me off to his friends was really cute and really fun. So just wanted to share that little story with you before we started on today's topic. So when this episode comes out, if you are not on my email list, you need to go and sign up for my email list. The reason for that is because I am doing an amazing webinar on Monday the 11th of July at 8:00 PM, B S T.
And it's gonna be exclusively for people who are on my mailing list. It's gonna be all about planning and how to incorporate food planning into your life in a way that is doable for you. So I'm gonna be starting off by talking about the neuropsychology of planning, why it's important, what main obstacles come up with planning and how to overcome some of those obstacles.
So you can start planning and reap the benefits of it. So if that's something that you would like to take part in, then make sure you go onto my website, www.amruticoaching.com and sign up for the mailing list and you will get all the information. Okay. So let's start today's podcast. Today's podcast is on how to start changing a habit.
And as you know, whenever I start off a podcast, I like to define what we are talking about. So what is a habit, The definition of a habit is a regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up. So let's talk about the habit of overeating. This may be showing up for you with eating food when you're watching TV or having a glass of wine when coming home from work, or when you are feeling bored, just going to the food cupboard or the fridge.
Now, most people think about the habit as the action that you are taking. But as you know, you know, about the think, feel, act cycle. So you know, that there's facts in the world. And then we have a thought about them, which makes us feel a certain way and which makes us take certain actions. And then that's what creates our result.
So if we're thinking about the think, feel, act cycle, the habit is not just the action. It is also comprised of the thought and the feeling pair that fuel that particular action. so the reason why this is important is because most of my clients say I wasn't thinking or feeling anything, but before I knew it, I had eaten the whole packet of biscuits or I'd had the full family sized bag of crisps or for my north American listeners, a bag of chips.
So when they say. I always kind of say to them that even if it doesn't feel like we were thinking or feeling anything, it's important to really break it down because an action can never take place without a thought and a feeling preceding it. So the paying attention may not happen in the moment straight away.
It may come in the evaluation afterwards. So that's why I tell them to really go down and break it. and in the mind and body planner that I've created for them, they have a dive deeper worksheet where they can really go and break it down. They'll start thinking about where did I eat this? What was I doing?
What kind of triggers were there for me? What was I thinking? What was I feeling and what led to that for me? And then they go into learning how to anticipate those triggers going forward so that they can take action. so particularly in this scenario, I ask them to really break down what happened after their overeat.
And that's when they can really try and find out what was the thought and the feeling pair that was fueling that action. So some common thoughts are I deserve it. One more won't hurt. I've had a long day. This will help me relax. A lot of people use food to help them relax. Right. They may think I'll miss out.
If I don't have it, they may think I don't want to be antisocial. So when you are thinking these thoughts, then they will trigger a feeling in you and then you'll take that action. So it's important to try and find your thought behind your overeating. And you may think, okay. I can find one, but often I want you to challenge yourself to find all the thoughts that are coming up for you, because you probably have several and you probably have different ones in different situations.
So pick one situation where you overate and try and find the thought or the multiple thoughts that were fueling that action. When you think that thought, how do you feel. . And when you feel that, what did you end up doing? So when thinking about a habit, it's not just the action. It's the whole think, feel, act cycle.
It's the whole part of the cycle. So it's the, thought then the feeling then the action. . And so this is really important when trying to actually change a habit, because if you just try and change the action, which is what most people do they think, oh, I'm just gonna make sure I don't eat that. You may change the action of not eating that food, but when you are not changing the thought and the feeling preceding that action, then it's never gonna be sustainable, which is why you want to try and find out what are the thoughts in my brain when I'm taking that action.
and it may be a very kind of foreign practice to you because you haven't done it before. And that is okay. It's okay. If it feels uncomfortable, it's okay. If it feels weird because whenever we do something for the first time, it will be uncomfortable. There will be some discomfort there, but as you know, discomfort is the currency to success.
We would not achieve things in life. If we did not feel the discomfort and overcome. and also you've overcome discomfort in so many other areas of your life. So this is just the next stage, right? So often what comes up for my clients is they say I've been good all week. And then what happened is I realized that I ate a whole packet of biscuits.
It just happened. So when we really break down the think, feel, act cycle. we can deal with the thoughts that cause this because as you know, it's our thoughts that create our results. So to actually break down this habit and try and understand it better, we need to know what we are thinking, which led us to feel a certain way, which led us to take that action.
So they come as a trio, the think, feel act cycle, right? They come all together. The action doesn't ever come on its own. It's always paired with a thought and a feeling that precedes that action. Right. So when we are trying to break this habit down, it's important to know that now in the definition of a habit, it says a regular tendency or practice.
especially one that is hard to give up so that hard to give up. It is really important. Of course of reading is going to be hard to give up initially, but actually identifying the thoughts and the feeling before that will make it easier because then you know that it's not that you have to undo this like big thing.
You just get to change your habit. One thought at a. and what would it be like if you thought I'm only one thought away from ending this overeating habit? I really want you to like, let that sink in. If you were just one thought away, how would things be different for you now when you are able to change that, thinking that led to the habit, you only have to do that.
One thing, change that one thought, right? I'll give an example of how this shows up for my clients. So often when they start working with me, my clients have something called scarcity thinking. And if you haven't listened to that podcast, go back and listen to it. Now. Thinking that there is not enough of something is what we call scarcity thinking.
And a lot of my clients have that scarcity thinking with regards to food, they may have thoughts. Like I better eat now because I won't have a translator. I won't get this again. So I better eat it. This is the specialty of this restaurant, so I have to have it. I'll miss out. If I don't have it, I better eat it now before someone else does, I better save mine.
Otherwise they'll all be. all of these are scarcity thinking thoughts with regards to food. Now, when people have thoughts of scarcity with regards to food, these thoughts, or these thought patterns often extend to other areas of their lives as well. . So if they're thinking scarcity thoughts with regards to food, they often have scarcity thinking with regards to time.
So not having enough time feeling overwhelmed, doing too much, they may have the same kind of scarcity thinking with money as well. I can't spend this much on coaching. I shouldn't be irresponsible with my money. This costs too much. I need to save this money for a rainy day. All of these. Thoughts. If you have the scarcity thinking pattern or habit with regards to your food, you will often have it in other areas of your life as well.
So time, money, it may be with regards to things as well. So I notice a lot of my clients tend to over accumulate things because they think that they may need it for another. so I know that I was like that. I used to, hoard, my stuff, because I was like, oh, I might need that later.
So I don't want to get rid of it. But then what ended up happening is I used to forget that I even had it right, because I had so much stuff. So when we started dealing with some of the. Food scarcity thoughts because the pattern of scarcity was the same. I noticed that it was really affecting, my life positively with regards to my money scarcity and my time scarcity and my scarcity with regards to my things.
And I was more likely to declutter my things and, you know, Approach my time with abundance and my money with abundance. Now that, that doesn't mean I just spent all my money or kind of like thought like airy fairy thoughts, like I have all the time in the world, but I was just able to challenge those scarcity thoughts from a much more abundant place and from a much More empowered place because I had that experience with my sketchy thinking with regards to food. So when you start working on your food, sketchy thoughts and poking holes in these beliefs, remember a belief is just a thought that you've been thinking again and again, then you will notice the impact that it has on other areas of your life as well.
So my clients come to me with food scar tea, and then in the program, we deal with all the other scar tea that's impacting their lives as well. So the time scarcity, the money scar tea, and then they see the compound effect of changing that one thought. And that is huge. So for you writing down your thoughts that came up, that led to you feeling that way and taking the action of eating off protocol or overeating at dinner or eating more than you needed at the restaurant.
this is the work finding out. What were you thinking and feeling which led to that action. And this is definitely something that I can help you with. And if you are interested in finding out more, I'm doing this free webinar. So remember it's on Monday the 11th of July at 8:00 PM, B S T. And it's gonna be all about the planning for permanent weight loss.
This is a topic that most of my clients struggle with and they want to be able to be consistent planners, but they have all of these thoughts about planning that just hold them back. They may think that they want to do it perfectly. They may think that they have to plan their whole week out in advance.
They may have all of these rules about food planning. They may think that they will only get success when they do it perfectly. So all of these things may be coming up for you as well. And these are the things that we are going to talk about on the webinar. So. once you are able to plan your food in a way that is doable for you, that fits in with your family, that fits in with your life and your routine.
Then you're gonna be able to apply that same thinking with your time. So planning your time with your money, planning your money. So with regards to this webinar, I'm gonna be sharing the neurophysiology of planning, especially food planning. What main struggles come up with my clients with planning and how to overcome those struggles so that you can start planning in a way that is doable for you and in a way that works for you. So what I want you to do is if you'd like to sign up for that free webinar, then go to my website, www.amruticoaching.com to sign up. You will need to join my mailing list to find out all the information.
And I'll put a link in the show notes too, if you would like to sign up that. now, if you are already on my email list, then you're in the right place. As I will be sending out all the details this week and at the end of the webinar, that will be the start of the enrollment for the August group coaching program.
So, so many of you have been inquiring about it and have joined the waiting list for the August group coaching program. And now the time is here. So this will be. The start of a week of free coaching. So we'll start off that week on Monday, the 11th of July at 8:00 PM, BST with the webinar. And then I will have a few juicy bonuses, including free group coaching calls and free written coaching worth over 200 pounds once you're on the webinar.
So I'll tell you all about that. So make sure you come on live, make sure you take some time out for yourself and actually get the childcare. make sure you don't have any meetings on at that time. Make sure you've allocated that time in your calendar so that you can take that time out for yourself and actually really learn the content and put it into practice.
So I look forward to seeing you on the webinar, take care everyone.