Being the leader of our own minds with Niha Wunnava

Hello, welcome to the podcast.

So on this podcast today, I have one of my dear friends and colleagues, Niha Wunnava, and she is a leadership coach in the U S and she is an excellent advocate of how to be a leader in the corporate world, but also how to be a leader of yourself.

So I'm really excited to have Niha on the podcast today.

Hi, I'm really thrilled to be here and to be speaking with you on this topic and also to share some tips that I think you and I both agree are really, really essential for Indian women, for women of color, people that are really getting back in touch with themselves, with their interests and, you know, thinking about that.

And if they're not back in touch today, we'll talk about some specific tips and tools and ways to think about things so they can get reengaged with the value they have to offer, and also really cultivate a space within themselves and in their lives to make sure that they are leading from a place that is fulfilling and also balancing out their life so that they feel more.

In leadership of where they're going and more, more stress-free and taking care of themselves. I think it's really essential for women, especially during a pandemic, especially during all the demands that they can take on to hit the pause button.

That's that just hits the nail on the head because us as women, we often don't take that pause. Right. We often, especially as south asian women. It's very much like it's in built in our culture that we have to do, we have to have all of these different roles. And I know for me growing up and, in our culture, it's very much like you have to make sure you're a good wife. You have to make sure you're a good daughter. And daughter-in-law, you know, sister, friend, it's kind of like, we wear so many hats and often we tend to forget about ourselves, right? So the main reason I wanted you to come on this podcast is because with your leadership background, I wanted my listeners to understand how to become a leader of themselves.

So I think it would be really useful, just to kind of get a bit of your background so they can know a little bit about you and how amazing the work that you're doing is in the world.

Oh, well, thank you so much for that. I have over two decades of experience in organisational leadership and strategic management in areas of healthcare, academic organisations, and also in the corporate world.

So I also have two management degrees, so kind of built my career on leadership and management, but really it started in my home. So I come from a family, a south Indian family that valued education very much, but I was also very blessed and gifted that I was able to speak my mind and I was encouraged to speak my mind.

So I know that that's really fascinating because and a lot of our cultural conditioning, and I learned this later in life that I found myself kind of contracting and shutting down, which is really interesting because if I really were to review the way that I was raised in my household, I can almost think of no time that I was told, like that's a loud opinion. Keep that to yourself. That's a little out there, keep it to yourself.

So my father was an incredible leader and he had a strong corporate background, went to IIT in Bombay. So education leadership. He came to this country and Wisconsin, and he told me that he was president of the Indian association.

And he said that that led to such an outstanding distinction for him, because it had him thinking about bringing communities together in groups together. And it laid a foundation to be very attractive in the future for him. Because when we really think about engaging and leading people from a place of purpose.

There's a lot of uniting that happens there. And there's a lot of self-awareness that we have to have when we're not only thinking about what's best for us, but we're, we're thinking about what's best for people. So we talked a lot about politics. Corporate politics, American politics, world politics.

So I really have been a person that's been engaged in the voice that we create for ourselves, standing up for the underdog, making things better in organisations, in our homes, but also in areas that are important to us in our communities because leadership comes in all of those different areas. And so I also spent many, many years supporting CEOs and the C-suite leaders in boardrooms coming up with strategic plans that not only brought them financial success, but really kept their people engaged.

So their physicians engaged their frontline leaders engaged, but also everybody that's doing the hard work, the backbone of the organisation. So that really has always thinking about lean operations, but also how do we come together as people connectivity from a very authentic space to do the right thing for the future.

And I think that that is what leadership really is. And that is what I like to work with my clients about. But to the point that we're discussing very specifically today, that when you are a leader and I believe everybody has. Yes. Every one of your listeners is a leader. If she in her life and awake and breathing and thinking she is a leader, she just has to cultivate some of that thinking again, press the play button on the proper thinking and thoughts that bring that to the forefront.

And I know you and I will be discussing that a little bit more in specifics today. I love that because I was thinking a lot of my clients don't think of themselves as like. Um, they don't think of themselves even as their own advocate. Often they feel guilty for even taking some time out for themselves to do something like some self-care because they often feel like this is selfish.

This is something that they shouldn't be doing. And they often think that it's taking time away from their other responsibilities. So a lot of my clients often say, oh, well, I can't take that time out to plan my food because that will be taking time away from my children. And that makes me a bad mum. So often in coaching, we often have to kind of unpack a lot of that and look at how, when they are taking that time out to do things for themselves when they are allocating time, money, energy, and focus on the things that they do want to achieve. And with my clients, it's, it's permanent weight loss that starts with allowing themselves to raise their, thinking about themselves. So to think of themselves as important and that's why I love what you said about, you know, you're already a leader.

When you already think of yourself as a leader, what evidence do you have in your life to actually draw upon that, to actually prove that belief? True. Do you have any, tips for, for them Niha?

Yeah, so I think that what you're speaking about today is really thinking about number one, going from passive action and passive thinking. So this is the way it's always been done. This is how my mother did it. The people before me in my traditional families and in my grandmother. And we want to honor that. Absolutely. We come from a lineage of a, I always tell myself, and I believe this, that Indian women are the strongest women with the most capability.

And, we should be so proud of that. So we want to make sure. And like you said, to use the evidence and the history, the rich and deep cultural history and traditions to work for us in 2022, as we are building families and children that are getting to experience new opportunities that maybe didn't exist 50 or 100 years ago.

So we want to make sure that our mindset and our thinking is up to date, up to speed for all the different advances and thinking so that we are making sure that our children have choice and agency. There are not being reactive or passive to just the way things have been done. Now we know things are changing in our country of familial origin in India.

We know that because women, when they gain more independence, when they gain more authority and decision-making at the highest levels of organisations, which is my mission. And my goal is to make sure that Indian women and people of colour in all industries are really represented at those higher levels of leadership.

When that happens, you have more input into decision-making to who is hired. You also get more access to money and authority that really dictates and shapes how things are being done. And we can do that on an individual level. And we must do that in our homes, in our schools and in our communities.

I love how you said, draw upon the rich culture that we have and use it for you because often what we do is we use it against us. Don't we, grew up thinking and being taught that you must finish everything on your plate. And it's like, it's one of those things that, you know, we don't waste food or, there's people starving and the other side of the world.

So we must really be grateful for our food and actually eat it all and things like that. So some of those thoughts, culturally, it was like all about food. It was all about. In the Asian culture, it was very much like, oh, look, you know, this is how we show our love. And so sometimes for for my clients, especially, they're like, well, you know, in the south Asian culture, how do I use the culture?

They often think of it as this is working against me. But what you're saying is we've got so much rich heritage. How can we start using it for. Right.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, cause it's very interesting when you were talking, I realised, and, and I've talked about this many different times and social conversations and just over the course of my life, it's like we, we get those conflicting messages all the time.

Study study really hard. Be the very best you can be. Oh, by the way, why aren't you married yet? Don't you talk to boys. Don't be on the phone. I don't want you to socializing. Watch who you are with. Oh, by the way. Why do you not know how to communicate well with the boys now? And then why aren't you finding a way to get married?

You're in the stress of these different images and these different expectations. And then what you just said, love, love, love, love, like this is, this is our tradition. This is food. So. So much deep fried foods, so much sugary, sugary, and really sugary food. Oh, by the way, you should also look really beautiful and svelt in a sari when you go out for the evening and look amazing.

So we have to be aware of conflicting messages and where we want to wade things through and use them for us, not against us, even when it's uncomfortable and even when it's easier to. You know, pop the sweet in our mouth. Of course. Right. Instead of taking leadership and saying the hard thing, saying, you know what, I love that sweet. I love it. And I can have one, but I'm going to have it on Saturday, not every day of our five day festival, because if I do and it's just, or even not saying it and just saying, I wish I could, but I can't and being okay with that. But we don't tend to do that because we want to please, you want to be happy with us.

We, we never want to disappoint our mothers and our fathers and anybody in our life, including our children. We have to watch what we're modelling for our children too, when we're passive and reactive and just doing things to make people happy. And then meanwhile, we know there's an obesity epidemic, so I have a, I also have a degree in public health.

I don't know if I've ever told you that, but we want to be careful with those epidemics and obesity and diabetes, which is very, very common in south Indians. So we just can't just eat sweets for fun and make them and deep fry them. And I have to stand up for that and stand behind that. And I, I really do encourage people to be a strong advocate for their health and I think it starts off with being your own advocate. Being okay with saying no to things. When it allows you to say yes to yourself.

Now, one of the things that I teach a lot of my clients is it's not really about the food. It's about your commitment to sticking to what you say you're going to do.

So if you put on your protocol that this is what I'm going to eat, when then the auntie says here have another samosa. And you're like, well, no, I'm actually full. Are you able to, see that, or is it more important for you to please them at the expense of yourself? So what we develop is that kind of internal, confidence that self-confidence to be able to be the advocate of what we actually believe.

So that brings me onto when you are being that advocate, when you are being a leader of your own mind, that's when you are able to externally show up as the person you want to show up. As in my journey, what it showed up as is initially I was that people pleaser, I was that, you know, very high achieving person who was always the top of the class, but I was like, Pleasing others.

And what it showed up for me as is I was like having this deep disappointment in myself that I wasn't able to please myself. I wasn't able to do the things that I really wanted to do. And for me, that was losing weight permanently and keeping it off. Right. So when I was able to say, you know what, now I've come to this point.

I don't want to do that anymore. And even if it goes against my cultural norms, even if it goes against some of the things that I've been taught growing up, I'm willing to do that. I'm willing to kind of stand up for myself, in a, assertive in a grounded way, like, you know what it's okay.

I didn't believe that anymore. And I'm going to stand up for myself.

Yeah. So what I think you're really talking about is a concept that I speak with my leaders really about thought leadership and it's determining on purpose, the thoughts and the beliefs that you cultivate or that maybe deep inside of you that you need to bring to the surface that create a new paradigm of thinking that gets you closer to your goals or your desires not farther away.

And so with that, it really is what else comes with that new ideas, more creativity. More connectivity, doing things in a way, trying things and really understanding how people pleasing comes up with perfectionism and comes up with our cultural or expectations and norms, but how that just might have manifested itself as a by-product because of other things that were expected.

Um, you know, if we think about how we have certain roles in our lives. There is a time in our life to be a child and just to be playful and to grow and to learn. And then we shift into a place of being a student and making sure that we are learning and, you know, taking on and preparing for the future.

Then we get into the phase of caretaking and taking care of the family and making sure that we are doing those things that keep structures and societies organised and healthy and safe. But we wanted to make sure that we understand the root purpose of those things and not just kind of say, well, yes, I'm supposed to just totally take care of all these things over here and never question it, never question it.

We want to be very aware of our beliefs and our thoughts and take significant challenge to the things that might actually be harming our ourselves and our family. If we just let those kinds of weeds grow in the garden and attended, we want to be very mindful and take thought leadership in addressing and questioning things and really kind of say if a healthy family that's happy, thriving and beautiful.

And all of those things have a place. There's a reason why fitness, yoga, meditation has such a place pranayam has such a place in our ancestry is because it creates wellness. Meditation, thought leadership creates wellness. And as a woman, as a mother, as a leader in our families, we have to model that by choosing behaviors that signify that in our health numbers in our weight and in our thinking.

Yes, I love that. Okay. So my clients and my listeners are probably thinking, okay, this sounds amazing, but how do I put that into practice? So how do you do that with your clients or with your own self? And then I'll tell my clients how I do that for me and my family.

Um, so honestly, I'm Amruti one of the things that I talk about with my clients is that your day has to reflect your goals. And what's meaningful to you. And if right now you don't, to use the example of, of weight or wellness. If your diabetic numbers are getting out of control. And if your weight is not what you want, you have to recognise the hard truth here.

What you're doing today is creating that. Yeah. And you need to take an honest look and that's a direct conversations that, that coaches have to say this isn't happening to you. And, you know, when we want to dive into the, the cookies and the Oreos, and we see this in all places, in all industries, high professionals, high achievers, like the ones I work with, director levels, vice-presidents CEOs, we're all doing something to mask the nervousness that we have before a presentation, the worry or anxiety we have before coming to a meeting or addressing our family, whatever the situation is. And, we want to make sure that we don't want to be gulping down things that get in the way or, you know, for, for my clients. Sometimes, sometimes they are drinking to take the edge off or eating to take the edge off or staying up too late, and then they're tired and the next morning, and or they're eating or just consuming or purchasing things, we want to make sure that they understand that their day creates the result that you have at the end of the day. And so we, again, what we said at the top of the conversation, pause, and just create awareness that that is true.

The car that you drive, didn't just land in your driveway. Yeah, whether it's a family minivan or a really fancy sports car, it came after a series of decisions that made it happen. And that's the same with your mental wellness and your physical wellness and the weight that you carrying today, the job that you have today, whether it's extremely stressful and you're reacting all day, or whether you have taken control.

And so I like people to think of control your goal control your day. That's where it starts. And I like to specifically talk to my very time-starved high achieving group of people. 10 minutes over that hot beverage of the morning, whether it's tea or chai or coffee, that is enough time to completely change your life.

Yes. Then the first two minutes being, even when you're brewing the thing. Of being aware of what's your thinking today? What do you want to achieve, what your deepest dream and goal and desire is for yourself, because that's what a goal is. It is a dream and it's a universal connectivity that you have to share your gifts with the world.

That's what it is. That's what you have inside of you, your talents, your unique abilities. And then from there you draw some of those out, write it on a piece of paper, anything, keep a notebook right there and start to capture those and answer questions. What are my strengths? What do I love? Sometimes people are really stuck and I tell them, and I get this question several, several times a week when I do seminars and speak at universities.

And they're like, but I just don't know what I'm interested in. Why is that? It's because we're not in touch. We do have the answer. So you want to ask yourself if I go on vacation, what do I like to do? Do I like to go to museums or is it all adventure? Is it hiking? Is it, you know, what is it that will start to cultivate ideas and thoughts?

What novels do you like to read? And so you capture that and then you start to make choices. So spend next five minutes of that hot cup of coffee, thinking about the choices you want to make, backtracking that into creating a day that revolves around those choices, but it starts with women taking 10 minutes out of their day.

And really if they can't get to the point where they're taking 45 minutes to an hour, they really need to start questioning fundamentally where they're using their time. There's definitely time there that's wasted that they can eliminate. They may not want to know that or hear that.

Yeah. I often say that with my clients as well. So I often say similar things. So it's about thinking, what do I want to achieve and what is my main goal? So I loved how you said it's a dream. But taking it further, it's also kind of making that dream your reality by having the thoughts, feelings, and actions to actually create that result for you. So it's sometimes just believing that, yes, this is possible for me.

And sometimes my clients aren't even able to get there because they're so used to being in a body at a weight that they're just not used to, and that they're just not happy at. Just believing that, is there a possibility, so sparking possibility in this goal is going to be possible for me, just getting to there.

And as Niha was saying in that 10 minutes of when you're taking that time out for you asking yourself, am I able to consistently every single day, spare 10 minutes to do this? And if not someone wise once said to me, if you're not able to take 10 minutes out of your day, you need to take an hour out of your day.

And that shows that if we are not able to prioritise our own wellness for 10 minutes a day, then that's when we need to try and prioritise way more because that's what will benefit us. So how that shows up me and my clients, I do my thought download in the morning. So that's with my cup of coffee and I write down what my goal is.

I write down three reasons that I want to achieve that goal, two reasons I'm already capable and competent to achieve it. And one thing that I'm going to do today to get me closer to that goal, every single day, I do that and it takes me about two or three minutes. And then I offload all the contents of my brain.

But when I start off with that, it's kind of like I'm leading my brain. I'm becoming that leader of my brain. I'm sparking that possibility. So the rest of my thought download is much more like, yeah, this is actually possible because these are the reasons why it's possible. These are the reasons why it's important to me.

So it just allows me to get into that zone of, you know, this isn't just possible, but this is what I'm creating. This is one thing that I'm going to do today to get me closer to that. So it makes it more practical and it makes it doable for myself and for my clients. So that's what I suggest that they do first thing in the morning.

And then last thing at night, I suggest that they just spend some time looking at their accomplishments in the day, looking for evidence to prove that, yes, I'm already living this. I'm already doing this. I already so successful. I'm already a leader in my own. And if you look for that evidence, you will find it.

Like, for me, I'm able to be the leader of what my kids are going to be doing, their schedule, uh, making sure the shopping's coming in time, the arranging all the social engagements that we've got, that is all evidence of you being a leader. So if you are already a leader in all of these aspects, you can use those same thoughts to provide evidence that you are already doing it.

So you becoming a leader of yourself, you've already got those neural pathways built. So it's just about stretching them out a little bit more to make yourself believe that you can do it for you and allowing yourself to.

I love that. I think that is, it's such a critical, nice way to package it up on the front end and then see the evidence and then take action.

Yeah. And what I say to my clients as well is to kind of have some time where they allow their brains to just wonder, so. Often, as humans, we are the only species who can be watchers of our own brain.

Right? And so when we are allowing ourselves to meditate, we are becoming a watcher of our own brain when we are allowing ourselves to just think, but without judging ourselves and allowing our brain to go wherever it wants to go, that is when all of these amazing ideas come that's when the inspiration comes, that's when we allow ourselves to believe in things that we never would have even allowed ourselves to believe previously.

And that is one of the things that really helps my clients to get into the belief that they are able to do this for them. I think that is so empowering because what you're really helping them to do is probably something that they've dreamed and desired to do very tangibly for a specific amount of time.

And you're taking care of it and addressing it at the very root so that those skills and techniques that they're learning are permanent. Um, they're treating the cause. Not just the things that we all can do, something for that five to 10 pound kind of reduction. But then when it keeps coming back over a cycle of years and years and years, we know that there's something else that's really spurring that behavior and that result. And it's something that you're thinking and doing.

Yeah. And I love that. We can lose weight by, you know, managing our food and things like that. We can lose a few pounds, but when you want to really get down to dealing with the underlying reason why you're overeating, it's actually because you're thinking thoughts that are just not serving you.

You're believing things that are, that you've been probably thinking for decades, maybe even that are just not helping you now. And you are not willing to feel those uncomfortable emotions that are coming up, which are going to be present 50% of the time. Because as I say, life is 50 50, there's going to be 50% positive emotion and 50% negative emotion.

And when we keep training our brains that this negative emotion is bad, we need to run away from it. Then we're always going to run away to overeating over-drinking overworking, um, people pleasing doing all of these things to give that false pleasure in the moment, but then there's always a net negative that comes.

We may be overweight. We may be drinking too much. We may be overworking and not spending time with our children. We may be overspending and having too much, stuff. That's when we want to really get to the bottom. If I was able to change the way I was thinking about this and actually feel those emotions all the way through, instead of avoiding them, how would life be different?

Yeah, absolutely. And seeing things new that we didn't know where the way that we were operating, shining a light on all of those things so that we can choose purposefully. Yeah. What would you tell the south Asian women who feel guilty about taking some time out for themselves and doing something for themselves, what would you advise them?

I would really have them think about what is rooted in the guilt. Like they really need to understand. I think we just take it at a surface level. We don't want to experience the negative experience of guilt. We have to ask ourselves, well, first of all, why, why? And, and guilt. I believe it's something like I did something wrong, like versus shame is I am wrong.

Um, and then there's guilt. I did something wrong. And so what that's driving at is that you have a belief system in your brain right now, structural operating system going on in your brain. That's telling you that when you do things for yourself, it's wrong, but you want to be really careful about what thing it is.

So you want to know what circumstance or situation it's saying, because it might be tricking you into just making you feel guilty when oh, my child is here.

And, you know, maybe you're working out or you're getting coaching, but what about all the time that you're using that you don't feel guilty about? That has nothing to do, but you know, with your child, it's like, it's almost convenient for that guilt to pop up and be like a pseudo good enough reason. Like, oh, I'm a good mom.

So I don't do this because my child would be deprived of my time or attention. The same guilt may not arise when you're chatting on the phone or on Instagram and just passively looking at things to buy. We don't think, oh, I'm, I'm guilty. Like the child is doing something else passively or at school, or maybe on the iPad.

That at that point we don't mind so much because it's almost like not getting in the way of something we maybe don't want to really do is wait. We say, we want to exercise. But we don't and we're using guilt is like a pseudo reason. Yeah. And it's like justifying, isn't it. It's kinda like, kind of like give ourselves a medal of honor like, oh, look, I'm not exercising because actually I'm a good mom.

I spend time with my children, but we don't think about the hours that we're scrolling on Facebook or that we're watching Netflix or, you know. You want to know where you, you want to be on to yourself. Where is your mind? Tricking you to not do the hard thing, right. In this case, it's like going above the inertia, getting over that and doing it.

I mean, when you're first starting to work out again and do these things that are healthy for you, it is uncomfortable. Yeah. You'll give yourself a pat on the back from the medal of guilt and martyrdom But then if you feel guilty and snap, and you're getting ready for a party and you're not feeling your best.

And so you're running around the house trying to find something that fits and snapping at everybody, that's also not a good result of the same thing. Yeah. And we forget that don't we, we think that, well, no, I just had to do that before. And then we blame, like we feel, oh, I have, you know, because my child did this or because my husband did that or, you know, whatever it's easier to blame others and take responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings and actions, Easier to say it was their fault. Then, then actually be like, you know what? I probably, you know, put my hands up. I shouted in it. There wasn't really any need to do.

Right. Yeah, absolutely. And it's probably rooted in a lot of the way that culturally we were brought up because I mean, I'm sure that there's many ways that we believe to our mom is there to do everything for us who are moms did everything for us.

And when the book wasn't there, those, this wasn't there, this wasn't, we would say, mom, mom, you know, and that there was that codependency kind of thinking. And we just want to really question in 2022 and how we're approaching that. And now are we also looking externally, is my spouse supporting this as my husband agreeing for this as my child being perfect so that I have 45 minutes to go.

It's like, no, no, no. Where are you? You know, when my child was born, I found a way I worked and did meetings and did all of that. I worked out for 45 minutes. I figured it out, you know, so it meant I would have to take the walks I bought an elliptical machine and I did these things so that I could take control of my health.

Yes. Yes. And that's the point, isn't it? Yeah. We've got to find a way that works for us. And often it's very easy to blame, but when you really want something, you will make it. Like, for example, if someone says, you know, if you do this, then this will increase the health of your child. You do that thing. You would go all out, you would push everything to the side and you will, do that thing. So the same thing I just want to offer. Why is it different when it comes to your own? And when we're able to do things for our children and think that this is so easy for me to do for me to give up for me to change my routine for our children.

What are we teaching our children when we're not doing that for ourselves? What are we instilling in them when we are showing them? We're not as important. We always put our children first or our family, or on first, this is one of the main things we work on with my clients, because they're often feeling so bad about that.

And so I teach them that actually, when they are able to look after themselves, when, and that doesn't need to be the normal, like self care of baths and things like they may just be planning their food and doing a thought download. It may be kind of different self care, right? When they're able to just take 10 minutes out for themselves, that is actually more beneficial for the rest of the family, because when they are looking after themselves, when they are repairing their own relationship with themselves, they are showing up as an even better mom as an even better wife or spouse as an even better daughter or daughter-in-law because they're looking off to them.

And being able to say no to your kids for 10 minutes and maybe even putting the TV on for them for while you're doing your thought download, or, you know, just saying, I'll just give you your food in a second. But this is mommy's time. That's so beneficial for them because they start realising that yes, mommy is looking after herself.

Mommy is doing something for herself because that is also in. Yeah, because it has compounded lifelong benefits, but they're learning skills they're watching and seeing. And I know that that was absolutely critical for me, you know, watching the ways that my parents modelled things for me so that my siblings and I, my amazing brothers and I were able to go out and just really be strong thinkers, independent thinkers and leaders in our own ways.

Both my brothers are physicians. They're amazing. We came from watching that modelling of family first, but health first with a lot of joy. And we want to make sure that we're thinking about that so that that'll pay off for them in all areas of their life. So a phenomenal mind exercise will be for your people listening to run through the benefits. We give so much airtime to the negative reasons that something can't work. But you want to give a lot of compounded thinking and to the compounded results, you want to give some time to the positive benefits that will happen. Play it out in the longterm and start to, we have to pause and not do things for just the immediate instant gratification that everybody is looking for these days and really think about how it's going to be beneficial to everybody in all areas of our life.

Because how we do things in one area impacts others. And now you're studying Practice for that in your life and for your children. Yeah. And the important thing that you just hit the nail on the head is the being willing to delay your gratification, being willing to not get the, you know, the dopamine hit in the moment and feel so amazing in the moment.

But knowing that it's that deeper desire that you actually want. Everyone says to me, yeah. I want to make more time for myself. I know it will be better for my kids, but then when it comes down to it and you know, they say that they're going to exercise for their own self care, then they're like, oh no, no, no, my kids are calling for me and they want some food or whatever.

And so it just goes out of your brain. But when you are really connected to that, you are willing to then say, do you know what? This is my time. Right? I'm just going to take this time and I'll give you your food in a little while. Being willing to sit in that discomfort in the moment, it doesn't feel good. You know, it often feels very uncomfortable, but when you're willing to go through that discomfort in the moment, that's where you will get the results.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I remember having my child, like in her playpen and I would be like, work it out. And so then she would just be crying, but I was like, hey, I've got 50 pounds to lose after this first child it's on me because I know that having better health is also role modelling for my children. So I, you have to feel uncomfortable now. And now it's expected, I'm just like, Hey, when I'm working out, like, you know, and I don't make a big to-do about it. I don't make a big to-do and drive and I'm gone for an hour and a half. No, I wake up earlier.

I get it done. It's my own time, but people know if mom's doing that. That's not the time now to ask. And they're perfectly fine. They are very capable, very independent children. And I mean, that's the tone that we're setting when we lead from there.

Yes. What an amazing thing to end on. So Niha, I just wanted to check, is there any last parting wisdom you'd like to give to my list?

I do I do. I want to remind the listeners today that, you know, keep in mind the lineage and the traditions that we come from. Okay. There is a very strong female energy, powerful energy that we talk about in our culture. And in our background, we want to draw on that from the, you know, the abundance that come from the goddesses and from the deities that are depicted in our religion and in our mythology and in our culture, let's not, forget about that. That's in us. That is our tradition. And we want to honour that and bring it to the forefront for universal goods. Um, really making change that the world needs that the world needs healing.

It needs that feminine, strong energy that sits in the spine of our body that is there to be cultivated and brought to the surface through our honouring and thinking and bringing our strengths, our talents, our leadership, our wellness to our families, our children, our spouses, our communities.

So let us use it for our best advantage and for the universe, I just think it's such a beautiful and magical uplifting concept. And that is, one that, that we get to draw from.

Yeah, because we are so blessed to be from this culture. So we get to, you know, we get to experience that the magic of that, but also be able to use it for us. Right. And not pass it against us anymore and give ourselves permission to be like, you know what? There's some things that may not work for me right now. And that's okay. I don't need to be the exact same as say how my mum did it or how the last generation did it. I get to draw on what's what serves me that amazing, beautiful abundance.

And draw upon what are the things that I want to incorporate in my life from the Western culture as well, and have an amazing mix of the two.

That's such power there because that's how evolution happens. That's how things get better.

I'm so, so happy to have had you on the podcast today, it's been such an amazing conversation and I know my listeners will really listen to this and learn how to be leaders of themselves, believe in the kind of true desires and actually go and create it for themselves. And if anyone wants to find out more about Niha, I'll put it all in the show notes. So you can contact her if you would like her to be your leadership coach, because she is amazing. So thank you so much, I really appreciate you coming.

It was just a joy to talk to you for this time today. Thank you.

Take care, bye-bye